All Aboard - 24 Original All-Time Children's Favourites - Various Artists

...with a load of characters all on a bright red train, and that is something I have only just noticed. From the Laughing Policeman sat up front, with the Ugly Ducking crying into a blue hanky, the Big Bad Wolf peers around the side, and Nellie the Elephant aboard too, I assume she is returning to Bombay like the song says. A swarm of Bees (The Bee Song), a Hippo (The Hippopotamus song) and The Owl and the Pussy Cat are also travelling, with a cheeky ...
..._Can you feel Joe I'm all a tremble _
_Perhaps it's the battle's noise _
_But I think it's that I remember _
_When we were two little boys _

Well that covers my favourites from the album, they alone make it well worth searching for a copy of. But wait, there is more, 18 more no less.

There are a couple of songs I don't really find that appealing, such as "Buckingham Palace", "Morningtown ... more

This is the second product I have added to Ciao, and was actually surprised it had never been on here. This album holds a special place in the heart of many people from the age of 30-something, down probably to around my age, it is the one and only, ultimate collection of Children's music.

Unfortunately there is a scarcity of information on the album on the internet, but according to our old copy, it was first published in 1979 by EMI on 12" Vinyl and comprises of 24 songs, 12 on each side of the vinyl. It was also available on cassette, and later CD. According to Amazon the CD was released in 1993, but has subsequently stopped being produced, leading to a rather large demand, for people to be able to re-live their youths through the magic of this collection.

The cover is a montage of bits from different songs, with a load of characters all on a bright red train, and that is something I have only just noticed. From the Laughing Policeman sat up front, with the Ugly Ducking crying into a blue hanky, the Big Bad Wolf peers around the side, and Nellie the Elephant aboard too, I assume she is returning to Bombay like the song says. A swarm of Bees (The Bee Song), a Hippo (The Hippopotamus song) and The Owl and the Pussy Cat are also travelling, with a cheeky looking Teddy Bear on his way to the picnic.

Then there are three people confusing me, OK actually make that two now, just worked out the man in the Busby is from Buckingham Palace. But there is a crazy man, who looks a little like my uncle Paul, who now thinking about it is trying to catch a Boomerang that Won?t come back. So actually there is one person, well bear that confuses me, eating some honey keeping a watchful eye on the Bee's. If at the end of the review you can suggest what song he comes from, please let me know.

Writing a review on this album isn't easy, I started doing it like my other music reviews, track by track, but soon found that there is little to write about each one, other than giving you boring random facts about the song, which while certainly filling the space won't be that helpful, so instead a general talk about the songs will have to suffice.

Track Listing:

Side One -

. Laughing Policeman - Penrose, Charles
2. Ugly Duckling - Kaye, Danny
3. Robin Hood - James, Dick
4. Right Said Fred - Cribbins, Bernard
5. Hippopotamus Song - Wallace, Ian
6. Banana Boat Song (Day O) - Freberg, Stan
7. Goodness Gracious Me - Sellers, Peter & Sophia Loren
8. Bee Song - Askey, Arthur
9. Who's Afraid Of The Big Bad Wolf - Pinky & Perky
10. I Know An Old Lady - Ives, Burl
11. My Boomerang Won't Come Back - Drake, Charlie
12. Teddy Bears' Picnic - Hall, Henry

Side Two -

13. Nellie The Elephant - Miller, Mandy
14. Sparky's Magic Piano - Blair, Henry & Ray Turner
15. Owl And The Pussycat - Hayes, Elton
16. Ernie (The Fastest Milkman In The West) - Hill, Benny
17. Buckingham Palace - Stephens, Anne
18. Windmill In Old Amsterdam - Hilton, Ronnie
19. Grandad - Dunn, Clive
20. My Brother - Scott, Terry
21. Morningtown Ride - Seekers
22. Gnu Song - Flanders & Swann
23. Two Little Boys - Harris, Rolf
24. Runaway Train - Holliday, Michael

While I grew up listening to this album, there are few songs I actually remembered when we got a CD copy, I can vaguely remember sat in front of the record player when I was about 5, listening to "My Brother" which was always my favourite track from the album, but other than that, along with "Right Said Fred", I didn't remember a track. My Sister had managed to procure a copy from an eBay seller, and she excitedly brought it round Christmas day a few years ago.

Some songs are classics, which are known by nearly everyone, songs like Charles Penrose's "Laughing Policeman" which has the easy to sing chorus of "wa hahahahhahahahahahahahaahahah, woooo hahahahahahahahahahaha". If people didn't know if from its release days (1922) then they would have at least heard it growing up, or more recently, on the advert for the spray on fence paint. Penrose was actually a nom-de-plume, his real surname being the very apt, "Jolly."

Perhaps the second most famous, or possibly even more so, is Benny Hill's epic tune, "Ernie". Released in 1971 it tells the story of Ernie, the fastest Milkman in the west, and is a ballad of his love for Sue, and the rivalry with Two-Ton Ted, who came from Teddington (incidentally where Benny Hill died). Their competition finally came to a head, in a dramatic and devastating fight using their natural assets, Ted with his range of baked goods, and Ernie's dairy products, a battle of well aimed strawberry yogurt, and culminating in Ernie?s death from a shot in the eye of the stale crust of a pork pie. I don't actually know anyone who doesn't know this song.

Now Ernie had a rival, an evil-looking man,
Called Two-Ton Ted from Teddington and he drove the baker's van.
He tempted her with his treacle tarts and his tasty wholemeal bread,
And when she seen the size of his hot meat pies it very near turned her head

"My Brother" by Terry Scott is my favourite from the collection, recorded in 1962, the song tells of the devious little brother, who gets up to such antics as putting shampoo in tea, fireworks in coal, jam in shoes, and making such culinary delights as Caterpillar Stew. I used to listen to this loads, and both me, and my own little brother loved it. The song always makes me smile, without fail.

Whose pet mouse made Auntie shriek? Who ate glue and couldn't speak?
What clever dick was sick for a week? My brother!
Who keeps maggots in a tin? Plays the twist on 'is violin'
Who's been gettin' at the gin? My brother!

The original Pink Panther, Peter Sellers and actress Sophia Loren team up in this 1960 top ten single, "Goodness Gracious Me". Sellers playing the part of an Indian doctor who can't diagnose poor Loren's condition. Its not measles, thrombosis, or influenza, luckily they she works it out, that they are in love. A song that perhaps wouldn't be acceptable these days what with the codes of practice or whatever...

From New Delhi to Darjeeling
I have done my share of healing,
And I've never yet been beaten or outboxed,
I remember that with one jab
Of my needle in the Punjab
How I cleared up beriberi
And the dreaded dysentery,
But your complaint has got me really foxed.

Don't Panic! Don't Panic! It's only Clive Dunn, with "Granddad", the song was released in 1970, and features him reminiscing about the olden days, quite a sweet song really, with a nice bit of music behind it.

Areoplanes tied up with string flying
Telephones and talking things sighing
A radio and phonograph, Charlie Chaplin made us laugh
Silently falling about
Familiar things I keep around, near me
Memories of my younger days, clearly
Now it's in my mind
Everyday I find, thoughts of when I was boy

Originally written in 1902, "Two Little Boys" tells the story of two childhood friends, playing with their wooden horses, one of whom breaks his. Dash years into the future, into the war, Joe is laying dying, when Jack comes along and pulls him up upon his horse, saving him. Rolf Harris first recorded the song in 1969, and it was re-recorded last year to mark the 90th anniversary of the end of WWI.

Do you think I would leave you dying
There's room on my horse for two
Climb up here Joe, we'll soon by flying
Back to the ranks so blue
Can you feel Joe I'm all a tremble
Perhaps it's the battle's noise
But I think it's that I remember
When we were two little boys

Well that covers my favourites from the album, they alone make it well worth searching for a copy of. But wait, there is more, 18 more no less.

There are a couple of songs I don't really find that appealing, such as "Buckingham Palace", "Morningtown Ride" and "The Runaway Train" to name a few, its not that there is anything wrong with these songs as such, but they don't really have anything special about them, nothing distinctly funny or catchy, and probably not something children would enjoy masses.

Flanders and Swann make a couple of appearances with their animal songs, The Hippopotamus Song (Mud Mud), performed by Ian Wallace and The Gnu Song. They are both quite humorous. In the case of the Gnu Song, which is the better of the two, I am reminded of some of the songs Monty Python did, such as "Eric the Half-a-Bee", which had there not already been a Bee song on the album would have also fitted in perfectly.

A year ago, last Thursday
I was strolling in the zoo
when I met a man who though he knew the lot.
He was laying down the law about the habits of baboons
And how many spines a porcupine has got.
So I asked him:
"What's that creature there?"
He answered, "Oh, it's a h'Elk"
I might of gone on thinking that was true
If the animal in question hadn't put that chap to shame
And remarked, "I h'aint a h'Elk, I'm a Gnu"

There is a couple of well loved songs, such as "Nellie the Elephant", "I Know an Old Lady" and "The Owl and the Pussycat". "Nellie the Elephant" was sang by 12 year old Mandy Miller, released in 1956, and is very jolly little song, which even now I enjoy listening to, and know all the words. Another classic on the album, is "The Teddy Bears Picnic" by Henry Hall, a song which again, most people will know. Recorded in 1932, for over 30 years it was the song used to calibrate audio equipment by the BBC. The song reminds me of when I was at play group and we had a Teddy Bear picnic, where we all brought in our favourite Teddy Bears (mine being Huggles), I am pretty sure the main food was the Pom Bear crisps...

Generally this album was a much loved family piece, now the record is unusable, scratched to shreds, played far far too much, and it appears that is a similar state for others across the country. I used to sell copies of the CD on Amazon, subsequently I am banned from listing on the site now, but I had over 100 people buying copies of the album who had played their and tapes too much, and desperately wanted a copy of the CD for playing to their own children. The songs on the album are classic children's pieces songs spanning about 50 years, and by the time I have children, some will be nearing 100 years old, what other songs from so far back have such timelessness?

In days where children's TV has got diabolically patronising, and the music they listen to equally so, a record like this can still be enjoyed, and it is certainly something I will be keeping a copy of for when I have my own. The tracks speak to generations, there aren't any songs which someone in the family wouldn't like, and myself and my brothers and sister all have different favourites, and my Mum seems to really like Arthur Askey's "The Bee Song".

If you have children of your own, or just still haven't grown up, then if you haven't got this album I suggest you hunt yourself out a copy, they occasionally come up on eBay and go for anywhere from £5-£20 on record, and considerably more for an original CD. Amazon never have them, and I haven't seen many places that do. If you really really want a copy then you could always search for someone who has a copy, and needs a few pennies towards getting a new camera lens or putting towards his car.

A few links to songs on YouTube:

Ernie - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cLKaLvrtn-8
My Brother - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t3ODRbw69vs
Right Said Fred - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AhIFfasz6Ec
Granddad - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6KJGJRd8pGE
Goodness Gracious Me - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gKMy15O1tCw

 

...less