Astronaut - Duran Duran

Duran Duran have recently had something of a revival. They are namechecked by all the coolest new bands, such as the Killers and the Bravery (who have gone a step further and completely ripped off the Duran Duran sound - their single 'An Honest Mistake' for a virtual re-write of 'Planet Earth', surely). The voguish trend for boys in make-up, smart suits playing tunes of keyboards must have Simon Le Bon, Nick Rhodes and the three unrelated Taylor's ...
...other hand, Duran Duran have always had unimpeachably cool influences. Named after a character from the cult sci-fi flick 'Barbarella' and drawing from influences such as Bowie, Roxy Music, Blondie, Chic and the punk movement, how could you not love a band with such good taste? But the thing about Duran Duran, for all the good singles, is that they're nowhere near as important as they think they are. For a fairly inconsequential pop band they seem ... more

Duran Duran have recently had something of a revival. They are namechecked by all the coolest new bands, such as the Killers and the Bravery (who have gone a step further and completely ripped off the Duran Duran sound - their single 'An Honest Mistake' for a virtual re-write of 'Planet Earth', surely). The voguish trend for boys in make-up, smart suits playing tunes of keyboards must have Simon Le Bon, Nick Rhodes and the three unrelated Taylor's thinking all their Christmases have come at once. On the other hand, Duran Duran have always had unimpeachably cool influences. Named after a character from the cult sci-fi flick 'Barbarella' and drawing from influences such as Bowie, Roxy Music, Blondie, Chic and the punk movement, how could you not love a band with such good taste? But the thing about Duran Duran, for all the good singles, is that they're nowhere near as important as they think they are. For a fairly inconsequential pop band they seem to have ideas above their station as some kind of influence as industry movers and shakers. Sadly, the truth is that Duran Duran will always be inferior to their idols, and equally as inferior to the bands by whom they are now namechecked.

In mid-2001, a stunned music world (that may just be a slight use of hyperbole there, but we'll let that slip) sat up and paid attention when it was announced that the original Duran Duran were getting back together (well, the famous Duran Duran were getting back together, diehard fans will be aware that Stephen Duffy was the lead singer before Simon Le Bon). This was the first time Le Bon, Nick Rhodes, John Taylor, Andy Taylor and Roger Taylor had been together in the band since 1985, when Andy and Roger had quit. John followed them out the door a few years later, and for much of the 1990's Duran Duran existed in a partial state, with only Le Bon and Rhodes from the classic line-up and some guy called Warren Cuccurullo on guitar. But he's not important, he's gone now. I wonder if he's a little bit miffed? Who knows? Who cares?

And so to 'Astronaut', Duran Duran's most recent release. The cover suggests an album that will be state-of-the-art, hi-tech, modern, rooted in the future, a fusion of pink and black while the five band members, immaculately groomed look out at you like creatures from an era too trendy, too fashionable for mortal humans. However, the album itself is not so modern. While bands like the Bravery rip off the band wholesale, Duran Duran could have kick-started their career with the quirky but danceable (and, importantly, radio-friendly) electronica of the early 80's heyday, but instead they release a record which is noteworthy only for its mediocrity.

When I heard that Duran Duran were making a comeback I was quite excited. Aside from all the fashionista crap that surrounds the band and the current vogue for them, as a singles band (I mean in terms of singles released, as opposed to music for single people), their run of releases in the early 80's takes some beating. 'Wild Boys', 'Planet Earth', 'Rio', 'Hungry Like The Wolf', 'Girls On Film'… songs that make you want to grab an expensive blazer and some eyeliner and hit the town. However, there is nothing, absolutely nothing on this album which compares to the heady rush of the earlier material. The lead single off the album, '(Reach Up For The) Sunrise', with it's pretentious bracketing which is ever-so-slightly-annoying, sounds like it should be soundtracking 'Good Morning With Anne & Nick' (remember them? Kind of an uglier, midlife crisis-struck version of Eamonn Holmes and Fiona Phillips). It is middle-of-the-road, gutless pap of the worst kind, the kind of music you'd expect berks like Darius to peddle. The tepid ambivalence of such a song is repeated mercilessly on 'Taste The Summer', a song so boring and lifeless that you can almost hear it being sung by Bryan Adams, which can never be a good thing.

The clunky, hopeless 'Bedroom Toys' is undoubtedly one of the album's lowest lows. You can hear you gut wrench with embarrassment as Simon Le Bon raps: "I been around the world/I seen a lot of things/That make your chicken curl/You're squeezing like boys and teasing like girls…". Whoever told the band that a rap song would be a good idea? It must surely be the same person who suggested the idea to Blondie on their most recent album, another horrendous embarrassment. In their search for modernity and the contemporary, Duran Duran have only embarrassed themselves. Le Bon sounds pervy and charmless, something he never did on 'Rio', surely? And Le Bon has never been the finest lyricist in the world (take, for example, the immortal line "You're about as easy as a nuclear war" from 'Is There Something I Should Know?'), but on material like this, it sounds like he should go back to yachting. See 'What Happens Tomorrow' as another example of extremely dodgy lyrics: "Child, don't you worry /It's enough you're growing up in such a hurry /Brings you down the news they sell you/To put in your mind that all mankind is a failure". Duran Duran seemingly took a walk right through Cliché City, picking up every bad metaphor, pun and bad rhyme along their way.

On 'Finest Hour' the band sound so completely disinterested and unengaged, you wonder why they bothered getting back together when the results are so sloppy. It is yet another boring, boring, boring exercise in middle-of-the-road guitar mush. Nick Rhodes's keyboard flourishes seem pushed to the background, when they should have pushed it to the front, as it was one of their key strengths in their heyday.

The album also suffers from extreme overproduction. This has been a theme of Duran Duran's albums ever since they first started out. Indeed, it would be hard to pick a Duran Duran album that one could say is really, really good ('Rio' comes the closest), and that is why the band are a much better singles band than a serious album act. The album seems like its been polished to within an inch of its life by big-name producers such as Dallas Austin (Gwen Stefani, TLC) and Don Gilmore (Good Charlotte, Linkin Park). This has seemingly sucked out the thrill and charisma of the band and their effortlessly cool 80's sound. As a result, the album sounds so frustratingly dull that you wonder why they bothered. They really could have gathered some momentum and been worshipped as gods had they released an album which harkened back to their classic sound, which is making them so revered at the moment. Instead, they've blown it.

It's not all awful - there are some pretty decent moments like the funky, danceable 'Nice', which plays to the band's strengths by pushing Rhodes's keyboard flourishes and John Taylor's quasi-disco bass to the fore. The super-lush 'Chains' is also a highlight in a sea of mediocrity, and you can just imagine the band in their prime bursting to be set free from the middle-of-the-road trap they have devised for themselves. But finer moments are few and far between, and the album as a whole makes for a fairly stodgy package, like Quakers Oats that have been left out in the sun for too long. Simon Le Bon's vocals are still strong, he still has one of the most distinctive voices in rock/pop music, yet it is a crying shame it is put to waste on material so anodyne.

You get the sense that this album was make-or-break for the band. Since they last stood together as a five-piece with their masterful theme for the James Bond movie A View To A Kill, the band have got progressively worse and worse, more and more embarrassing and more and more of an irrelevance. Some of their 90's material, 'Ordinary World' aside, is shockingly bad. Regrouping the classic line-up and ditching that Warren Kookaburra (!?) guy is perhaps the last chance saloon for our Old Romantics. Sadly, they have failed to pass the test, failed to make the grade and instead released on of their blandest albums to date.

All in all, this isn't worth your time. It probably wasn't worth theirs, come to mention it. Excruciatingly bad in parts, maddeningly promising elsewhere, it's a darn frustrating album, an exceedingly anodyne, toothless, anonymous album which adds nothing to the Duran Duran 'legacy'. Stick to 'Rio' and the eyeliner.

'Astronaut' is available on Amazon.co.uk for £11.99 

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