Back Again In The DHSS - Half Man Half Biscuit > Reviews > Half Genius Half Madness

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Advantages:	Absolute stunning Scouse Genius  -  You Have Never Heard Anything Like This
Disadvantages:	Hard to track down  -  Phone Probe Records  -  Liverpool

Recommend to potential buyers:

yes

Full review

Somewhere in the depths of history (early 1985 to be imprecise) Half Man Half Biscuit (hereon referred to as HMHB or The band) released the “Back in The DHSS” album. This was followed by the “Trumpton Riots” ep. Now these two absolute gems have been grafted together on this superb CD.

The reason I’ve finally arisen from my lethargy to produce this review about the finest thing to come of Liverpool since Brianlfc is an excellent three page spread in the Guardian which eulogises about HMHBs latest ep “Editor’s Choice”, which has just been released, and told me loads I never knew about the band as well as a lot I do know about them.

By the way I’m breaking from my usual tradition of giving an overall review of the album to do one of these track by track jobs. HMHB are not musically brilliant , but the lyrics and titles are some of the cleverest that you will EVER hear , bar none, and tinged with excellent scouse humour. They are not a comedy band as such, but just happen to be extremely funny, as the title of this album demonstrates. Other albums include “Voyage To The Bottom of The Road” and “Four Lads That Shook The Wirral”.

All their stuff is worth listening to but this , is still probably their best and most essential album (I’ll review others when I feel like it).

Basically the band consist of Nigel Blackwell , who apparently does the voice over for a new BP commercial, and three other guys, whoever they happen to be. Nigel Writes the songs, and more importantly the lyrics.

The story behind this album is that Nigel took a tape along to Geoff Davies of Probe Records, who looked at it and said “If the songs are half as good as the titles we’ll do it” . Three days later Blackwell comes back to Davies with the master tapes for the “Back in The DHSS “ album and says “That’ll be forty quid”. Actually it was nearer thirty but Blackwell wanted to pocket a bit more. That story came from the Guardian article and just sums up HMHB. The album went on tell 100,000 copies over the next few months, and has since sold well over 200,000 copies. Not a bad return. HMHB have never had a record contract , but release all their stuff through Probe despite overtures from their bigger record labels. The even have a tribute band based in Sunderland called , get this “It Ain’t Half Man, Mum” who I’ll keep an eye out for.

Blackwell is very much his own man , reputedly turning down what would have been a massive appearance on “The Tube” in the early eighties because Tranmere were playing at home that week.. How can you not love this band.

So apologies for the rather long pre amble, no here’s what the album contains. I’ll list the track name, a choice couplet from the song then my opinion of the song. Hope you enjoy this>

Here Goes.

1: Busy Little Market Town

“ “

In true perverse style the opening track is an instrumental based on the opening music from Trumpton . Last about forty seconds.

~~~ This is where the original vinyl album started ~~~

2: God Gave Us Life

“..but He also gave us Matthew Kelly”

A pleasant funny little ditty based upon repeat the title and what we can all do with a life (if you are a small boy) and finish with a list of not so pleasant personalities. Fun

3: F**kin’ Ell It’s Fred Titmus

“Stevie Nicks books about Kleptomania”
A story song about Nigel’s imaginary meeting with the legendary cricketer whilst on a shopping expedition for some Lenor at the local supermarket.

4: 99% of Gargoyles Look Like Bob Todd

“If You ever wondered how you get triangles from a cow,
You need butter , milk and cheese and an equilateral chainsaw..”

Homage to Bob Todd , the follically challenged goggle eyed comedian who featured in so many Benny Hill programs, and you know Blackwell is right again, 99% of Gargoyles DO look like Bob Todd.

6: Time Flies By (When You're The Driver Of A Train)

“Time Flies By (When You're The Driver Of A Train),
Steaming into Trumpton with a cargo of cocaine…

..Over bridges, under bridges , to our destination,
Careful with that spliff Eugene, it causes condensation”

Based on the song of the same name from Trumpton , rewritten for “Adults”. A very funny stab at dub with , as you can see some superb lyrics. Totally spaced out. After you here this you’ll never forget it.

7: I Hate Nerys Hughes

“St Vitus came to town and visited the cemetery,
The dead got up and everything became one big cacophony”

This is as close as HMHB get to thrash punk. The song careers along like a good un before screaming to a chorus based on the title.

8: The Len Ganley Stance

“Do your best to look like a teddy bear,
Then pretend to be vertically dead”

Len Ganley was a snooker commentator. I didn’t know that until the Guardian article. Snooker commentators are all the same, therefore this songs sums him up perfectly.

9: Venus In Flares

“A million housewives every day,
Pick up a tin of beans and say
‘What an amazing example of synchronisation”

“The grand old duke of York
He had ten thousand men
He marched them up to the top of the hill,
Then he had them all again”

More HMHB madness and genius. There’s not much more I can say about these songs apart from the fact that they all score ten out of ten, well this gets twelve.

10: I Love You Because (You Look Like Jim Reeves)

“My girlfriend looks like Peggy Mount,
What Am I supposed to do?”

An HMHB love song. Jim Reeves had a hit in 1964 with “I Love You Because”. Blackwell has a superb knack of making these totally mad associations up into song titles. And the songs ARE as good as the titles.

11: Reflections In A Flat

“Now you’re gone forever,
Shot by your uncle Trevor,
My story us so tragic,
Ali Bongo’s good at contortionism”

The final track on the vinyl album , with more lyrical brilliance set to a standard Biscuit backing. But , as Jimmy Cricket says, there’s more……

~~~ This is where the original vinyl album finished ~~~

This review has gone on long enough , so I’ll just list the rest of the tracks. My absolute favourite is “All I want for Christmas is a Dukla Prague Away Kit”, because it happened to me. Check out the link at the bottom for complete lyrics and cross referencing.

12: I Left My Heart In Papworth General

“When I’m pining for a cigarette
I think of all the free ones I’d get
If I killed myself and came back as a bicycle”

Originally on the 12” release of “Dickie Davies Eyes” not on this CD.

13: Architecture And Morality, Ted And Alice

14: Albert Hammond Bootleg

15: 1966 And All That

16: The Trumpton Riots

17: All I Want for Christmas is a Dukla Prague Away Kit

For more information, and the complete lyrics which read fine on their own (they should be in the National Curriculum), check out this link:

http://cobweb.quantisci.co.uk/hmhb/index.htm

Unfortunately this album is not available on Amazon, but I see every now and then in HMV and Virgin, and should be available from Probe Records. Buy it. You won’t regret it. Altogether now….

“God Gave Us Life…….”