Chocolate Factory [PA] - R. Kelly > Reviews > Strawberries and Whipped Cream don't turn me on

Author's product rating:   

Originality	Lacking inspiration
Lyrics	Standard
Quality and consistency of tracks	One hit and lots of B-sides
Value for Money

Advantages:	Ignition features on the album
Disadvantages:	Most of the tracks are weak

Recommend to potential buyers:

no

Full review

R. Kelly? Isn’t he the bloke that sings all the slushy stuff? Well, yes he is, but I so liked his latest single release “Ignition” that I did something totally against the grain, and bought his album. Slush is nice, but not for a whole album, so I crossed my fingers that it wouldn’t all be sugary sweet nonsense.

Kelly shot to fame in the Nineties, after his signing for Jive Records. He released his first album “Born into the 90’s” in 1992, and has had phenomenal world success with his albums and singles since that time.

“The World’s Greatest” is one of his most successful albums to date, and was released for the soundtrack of the film “Ali” in 2001. Kelly has won awards aplenty for his contribution to the R&B music industry, but I have always been mystified by his success. Is “Chocolate Factory” going to change my mind?

Kelly’s latest album, entitled “Chocolate Factory” is available from CD Wow for the princely sum of £6.99. The album comes with an extra bonus “Loveland” CD and is great value for money.

The main CD boasts a cover similar to a chocolate box with a yellow background on top of which is printed a plush red ribbon.

TRACK LISTING
*************

Chocolate Factory
Step In The Name Of Love
Heart Of A Woman
I'll Never Leave
Been Around The World feat. Ja Rule
You Made Me Love You
Forever
Dream Girl
Ignition
Ignition (Remix)
Forever More
You Knock Me Out
Step In The Name Of Love (Remix)
Imagine That
Showdown feat. Ronald Isley
Snake feat. Big Tigger
Who's That feat. Fat Joe (Edited)
Bonus Disc:
Loveland
What Do I Do
Heaven I Need A Hug (Radio Edit)
The World's Greatest
Far More
Raindrops
Apologies Of A Thug

The title track begins with R. Kelly talking, accompanied by a fast R&B beat and then goes into the vocals. Chocolate Factory is a great, uplifting start to the album and a real toe tapper and butt jiggler. I can’t help wondering if Kelly borrowed the idea of comparing his beau with chocolates, due to the success of Craig David’s “What’s your Flava”, but what the hell, this song works. The lyrics may seem sublime, but listen to the track, and you’re caught up in the beat and the music.

“Plenty caramel coated taffies
Chocolate covered strawberries”

Kelly seems to be modelling himself on Barry White at the beginning of “Heart of a Woman”, with an attempt at sultry talking, before the introduction of a slow beat. However, the track progresses, and although a slow track, I have to say, this is a stonker. The riff is very similar to Love TKO by Teddy Pendergrass, so, if you’re familiar with the song, you will probably like it. The song is a love song in which Kelly promises never to leave his woman, and you will be forgiven for thinking that he is talking for the duration of the track, although he occasionally bursts into song.

“I’ll Never Leave” is another ballad track and, in my opinion, one of the weak tracks of the album. It’s one of those songs, where the tune seems disjointed somehow, with lots of variance in tone. Although the R&B beat is great, Kelly somehow fails to convince me that he even wants to be in the studio for this one, and sounds bored throughout most of the track.

“Been Around the World” features the distinctive voice of Ja Rule, who certainly seems to be in demand at the moment for guest appearances on tracks. The track starts with a piano playing followed by a whoop. The beat then begins, with Kelly singing and Ja Rule putting his bit in as backing. Although a slow song, this can not be classed as a ballad, as it does speed up, and then Ja Rule of course has a rap all to himself, backed by a few nonsensities from Kelly, which progress to Kelly taking over vocals, at which point the song speeds until it seems that Kelly and Ja Rule are both determined to get top spot. This constant trying to outdo each other spoils the song completely and makes it another no no on the album.

There are two versions of “Ignition” on the album. The original version is a slow version and is nothing to write home about. In my eyes, it’s R Kelly as his normal self, a boring ballad singer. However, the remix version, currently in the charts, is another story. The track begins with Kelly talking, swiftly progressing into a bassy beat. There are many versions of “Ignition” available, and the one on the album is not quite as fast as the one currently charting. The lyrics are risqué, to say the least, but the track is a bouncy, danceable piece of music.

“It’s like woo...pull over, baby
And let me put this love van off in your trunk, babe”

“Imagine That” begins is yet another ballad, but in the middle of the song there is a very strange rock theme introduced, over which Kelly sings yet more lyrics, about disrobing a woman. A really bizarre track and it does not work. Kelly seems to be almost screaming at points during the song, which ends with a manic drum riff, and Kelly screeching like a banshee. The lyrics do not fit the song at all and again, are totally risqué.

“That I’m stroking your body
Image that imagine that imagine that imagine that imagine imagine that
Strawberries and whip cream imagine that”

I can’t profess to finding Kelly in any way remotely attractive. I find watching him singing is a bit of a shady area. He seems to think he exudes sex appeal, but he certainly doesn’t float my boat, and is probably much of the reason why this album does nothing for me at all.

Kelly seems to think that by providing risqué lyrics to his songs, he will sell more copies. Fine in theory, but surely it is important to produce some quality music, with some variation, rather than listening to ballads, track after track. George Michael does risqué very well, but at least there is some variety to his offerings. Perhaps Kelly needs to take some advice from George.

I was not aware of the allegations regarding Kelly when writing this review. For those of you not aware, Kelly was arrested last year on child porn charges, but professed his innocence unreservedly.

Kelly seems to be trying to mould himself into other singers for the duration of the album. There are so many tracks in which you could quite believe another person is singing rather than Kelly himself. I don’t know whether it is the feeling that Kelly is trying too hard on the album, or that the tracks are just not quality offerings, but this certainly won’t be on my player much.

Overall, no I don’t recommend the album. Although outstanding value for money, there are only really a couple of tracks that I would listen to again.