False Smiles - Amy Studt > Reviews > False Hope, Leading to a Real Disappointment

Author's product rating:   

Originality	Lacking inspiration
Lyrics	Mediocre
Quality and consistency of tracks	One hit and lots of B-sides
How does it compare to the artist's other releases	Not applicable
Value for Money

Advantages:	A few decent tracks .  .  .
Disadvantages:	.  .  . but most of them are of the other sort !

Recommend to potential buyers:

no

Full review

Being unemployed isn’t much fun. There’s only so long you can put up with the rubbish that is daytime TV and start getting bored. Every cloud does have a silver lining, though, so unemployment was my chance to steal control of the remote back from my flatmate and watch something other than the constant diet of Sky News and Kerrang TV that I’ve been subjected to of late.

This isn’t necessarily a good move. Daytime TV still sucks, regardless of how many Cable channels you have, and I returned to browsing the music channels after a while. And here, in amongst the bubblegum pop, largely consisting of constant plays of Justin Timberlake’s album, I found a diamond in the rough.

Marketed as the British version of Avril Lavigne, at least by Simon Fuller, her manager and a man with a fair track record in British pop music (the Spice Girls for a start!); Amy was supposed to storm the charts in much the same way. Whilst she had a slight advantage over Lavigne in that there were no dodgy stories of her singing country music before switching to punk, and supposedly had a genuinely rebellious past, there was no competition in either sales or musical terms.

Whereas Lavigne was able to muster a genuine anger in some of her songs, Studt could only manage to sound a bit narked. Avril raged against the world and her exes while Amy sat in the corner and sulked because no-one liked her very much. But Studt’s major problem was that she didn’t have anything to catch the public’s imagination in such large numbers as “Sk8er Boi” did, with the result that she only scored one Top 10 single, her album only reached number 18, and she’s recently been dropped by her record label.

The disappointment that this album turns out to be is made worse by it opening so well. It’s not rubbish all the way through. The opening to “Just a Little Girl” is piano based, deceptively low key and almost sing-song nursery rhyme-esque, before breaking into a guitar-led heavy-pop tune in the chorus. Various parts of the song seem to fall into territories previously inhabited by both Delta Goodrem and Avril Lavigne, without ever managing to go one way or another or being as good as either.

The good opening continues with “Misfit”, a guitar led tune, although a little too lightweight to compete with Lavigne. Despite being a rant at being an outsider, it’s a gentle one, although it does contain a highly sing along chorus, as all good pop songs should. A little chuckle in the voice over a couple of the lines here suggests that Studt’s not taking things as seriously as the lyrics might appear, nor that she’s as self-obsessed as some have claimed. Unfortunately, neither feeling is to last for too much longer.

By the time “Under the Thumb” rolls around, you could be forgiven for thinking this is actually turning into quite a good album. Another low key, almost reggae style opening leads again into something that tries to get angry and fails once more. Not a bad heavy pop tune, although let down badly by a strange break about three quarters of the way through, which is possibly just striving to be clever, but succeeds only in destroying the song’s momentum.

“If Only” is where things all start going a little bit wrong. Actually starting as a little more up-tempo than the previous tracks, the vocals are delivered in a little girl voice, and frequently almost overpowered by the backing beat. It’s a completely uninspiring track, standing out only because it’s so different to what has come before. There is, however, still the chance that it’s a unique aberration.

There’s another guitar intro to “Beautiful Lie”, which suggests things may be getting back to the earlier high standards of the album. Unfortunately, once the verse comes in, it’s overlaid by effects that sound as if they were lifted straight from All Saints’ “Pure Shores”. But where that was a decent pop track, this isn’t, not really going anywhere.

Another deceptive opening takes you into “Ladder in my Tights”. It’s a very similar song to “Misfit”, a mid paced heavier pop track, although the lyrics are a lot more amusing and worth listening closely to. This is my favourite track from the album. But when you reach the very best, the only way is down.

“Carry Me Away” is down indeed. Its set up in very much the same way as “If Only”, being a faster paced track, but gentler on the instruments front. It would be largely inoffensive if it weren’t for the high tempo and all the lala-ing, which makes it sound like a Eurovision Song Contest winner from the 1960’s. Despite her pleas, no-one does carry Amy away.

This becomes a dreadful pity when “Happy Now” rolls around. The orchestral arrangement at the start reminds me of a very old record I had as a child which contained a reading of “Peter and the Wolf”. That’s really as good as things get for this one, as it’s an insipid ballad that does very little. It may be an attempt at a more mature sound, but lyrically it still sounds like a sulky teenager moaning about how unfair things are.

Maybe it is “Gonna Be Fine”, but that doesn’t appear to be happening right now. Again a slower paced track, more piano led than the previous track. Sadly, it’s no more inspiring. At points, Studt’s vocal occasionally stretches right up to areas of the musical scale previously only visited by Mariah Carey and The Darkness. It’s an impressive feat that gets really irritating really quickly.

“Superior Mind” reminds me of a musical version of a Michael Moore book. It’s clear on the fact that there’s stuff wrong with the world, but without providing anything in the way of a fix. Combine that with a pop song that is, again, a little too heavy on the backing. It’s a track with little direction and little appeal.

The introduction to “Going Out of My Mind” suggests a phone call. This, given that the Little Angels’ “I Wanna Be Loved By You” starts in a similar way is hopeful. Except that what we have here is again an acoustic led, mid paced pop track. It sounds a little like Lene Marlin got a little upset and this was the result. The lyrics are in sulky teenager territory again, though.

“Seconds Away” is an attempt to get sensual, with Studt’s voice softening slightly, and the drum beat being a little softer. The only problem here is that Studt, like Pink, doesn’t really have the voice to make this work effectively, and the whispered echo that follows many of the lines in the verses is distracting. Full marks for the bravery of the attempt, but none for the result.

The introduction to “Testify” sounds a little like a music box. Given how some of the earlier tracks started this way and became something good, this is hopeful. Unfortunately, it’s another insipid ballad, although it does liven up a little in the chorus. It’s better than most of the tracks on the album, but still nothing special in the bigger scheme of things.

When the final track, “Nobody” rolls around, I suddenly find myself in agreement with Studt. “Nobody knows, nobody cares”, she sings. After what’s gone before, and after sitting through another weak ballad, I find myself unsurprised by this revelation.

“False Smiles” is quite possibly one of the biggest disappointments I’ve come across in my years of listening to music. I don’t mind if an album is clearly bad, as long as it doesn’t try to mislead you, and is complete bad. With “False Smiles”, however, the singles were clearly chosen as being the best tracks, and that was enough to lure the naïf into the stores to buy the album. With the few decent tracks collected together at the beginning, it’s an album that gives you false hope as to it’s quality but turns out to be a real let down as once you get beyond those few decent tracks, there is nothing of that quality to back them up, and the majority of the album seems like a teenager having a moan to a backing track.

If you do want to listen to someone who really is hacked off at life in general, try Avril Lavigne or, even better, Alanis Morrisette. If you want tracks with great pop hooks and a little guitar, even Girls Aloud do it better than this. Heck, even Busted, for all their air hostess obsessions, at least don’t get this sulky about being dumped.

If this were any other album, with a running time of 56 minutes and available for only £8.95 from Musica.co.uk, or £10.99 from Amazon to include the addition of “All I Wanna Do”, I’d be calling it pretty good value. Value for money is only good if you use the product to its’ full extent, rather than wanting to turn it off around half way through. Essentially what you get for your money is 2 EPs; one that isn’t too bad and one that’s awful. But as you can’t pay half to get half, this is definitely one best avoided.