Fantastic - Wham

There hasn't been much to grace our hit parade in the form of well hardened, matured cheese, until we witnessed the birth of the God Georgios Kyriacos Panayiotou (or George Michael to you Mr Spell-check) in the popped up, leather clad outfit named Wham! This unusual Greek from the even more unusual Finchley in Middlesex with his finely crafted jaw bone and mop of continental curly hair dragged the more unfortunately good looking Andrew Ridgley off ...
.../> Attending the same school in Bushey, London, they left and formed a amateur set up called The Executive. Being Ska driven around this time of 1979, it appeared rather quickly to the youngsters that everyone was trying to be in a Ska band and unless your name was Terry Hall, your chances looked pretty slim. Hitting the big time was going to have to be approached at a different angle, so they focused on a duo set up along with their stunning faces ... more

There hasn't been much to grace our hit parade in the form of well hardened, matured cheese, until we witnessed the birth of the God Georgios Kyriacos Panayiotou (or George Michael to you Mr Spell-check) in the popped up, leather clad outfit named Wham! This unusual Greek from the even more unusual Finchley in Middlesex with his finely crafted jaw bone and mop of continental curly hair dragged the more unfortunately good looking Andrew Ridgley off his feet and they started a firm friendship.

Attending the same school in Bushey, London, they left and formed a amateur set up called The Executive. Being Ska driven around this time of 1979, it appeared rather quickly to the youngsters that everyone was trying to be in a Ska band and unless your name was Terry Hall, your chances looked pretty slim. Hitting the big time was going to have to be approached at a different angle, so they focused on a duo set up along with their stunning faces with bodies to match and called themselves Wham!

Andrew and George might have been seen as all brawn and no brains but they knew immediately that they could literally sell themselves. Sex sells, as we already know, and considering that the vast majority of the record buying public were young, high hormoned, giggly girls, Wham! homed in on their attention like two greased, hit seeking missiles. What they actually did accomplish, almost overnight, was the ultimate dream teen team. Perfectly polished and truly greased to Godliness, they pouted, shuffled, slouched and drove girls of twelve years old wild with their Elvis-like visual themes.
Many a wet knicker was achieved and the hits started rolling like an avalanche.

The only down fall of the super clean, all snarling duo was their unfortunate brush with a dodgy record label. 'Innervision,' the short lived label gave out very little, if none at all in loyalties for the success that followed 'Fantastic's' release in July 1983. Sadly failing to recoup any monies owed to them , they signed up with Epic before any other record was going to be released although it was another year before the battle with the dirty label was finally over.

'Fantastic' was primarily a British release. With its photo album style inner sleeve featuring shots of the boys at different ages and a slick, leather clad image of the pair on the front cover, it denotes the genre within. It was going to be with their single, 'Wake Me Up Before You Go Go,' in May 1984, before America started to sit up and take note. Featuring four top ten hits, it wasn't a surprise to find the album go straight to number one. Staying for an incredible 116 weeks in the album chart, they were, as they predicted, the technicoloured line through the darkly morose eighties pop chart. Being fed up with the monochromed existence of the new wave generation, to finally see something in all the brightest colours imaginable was a blessed relief. Sun kissed lads, out having a good time on the beaches, chatting up babes and sipping cocktails took us gleefully away from the dull, droned sounds of likes of Blondie, The Cure and others. In the height of the Thatcher years, the future of Britain looked dark and featureless. Wham! Had given us hope, light and something to feel happy about again. So, without further or do, let's leave the dreariness of the wet weekends behind make an unforgettable entrance in to the world they called Club Tropicana

Waiting to show us to our table are two handsome, dark featured young men with great twinkles in their eyes. They bow slowly and lead the way through the maze of crowded tables full of chatter, laughter and the clinking of champagne glasses. Our chairs are pulled out for us without a word. We sit, decreasingly adjusting kicker elastic, menus is quickly throw open in front of our faces. We order, politely nod and smile and the shadows of tanned, tuxedoed bodies disappear without a trace into the haze of celebration around us.

May the lights dim and the show begin….

Leaping onto the minds stage, we see the same two figures this time jumping around with Mexican beans in their boots. 'Bad Boys' would not have been my choice of opening track to this number one album, however, it launches us quickly into the world of Wham! Nice and polite on the outside with your mother nudging you at your side, they parade themselves to be on the naughty side in this track. Bouncy and full of the joys of brass instruments, we perhaps are shocked to here such lyrics from what we thought were home loving, hard working pretty boys. With its tongue in cheek video, this song tells of all that was definite no no's in the early eighties. This may being a reflective smile to the face of the audience as things seemed to innocent in days of old. School was tough and just as for the Wham1 lads. Are we that surprised? 'Dear Mummy, dear Daddy, you had plans for me, oh yeah, I was your only son.' Well, that doesn't put me in a good light as a mum for starters, but, let's think for a minute; this is Wham! And they are only pretending to be on the bad side. The parents to get a turn to speak through the backing vocals at the break, 'We can't help but worry, you're in such a hurry. Mixing with the wrong boys, playing with the wrong toys. Easy girls and late night, cigarettes and love bite, why do you have to be so cruel, you're such a fool!' Well, that told us… Never mind, that bass with its 'oo, oo's' will have you thinking back to school days of baggy tee shirts with 'beach life' in big letters…

Written by George Michael, listening to this album now raises a smirk on the lips. This had truly been his spring board to ultimate success. The song writing capabilities, although pop like and commercially arrogant, were certainly well preserved and thought provoking. His way of pulling together snippets of rhyme into a conversation through a verse was clever, certainly by young, immature standards. Wham! Has to be appreciated for its diversity and its humour. Lyrics bold and playful. The music is true to its time. Racy, predictable and musically abrupt in its fashion, it is harmless but yet far from talented performing. Commercial pop holds no room for talent. It doesn't actually know what to do with it. It fears it so therefore, talent is left behind for mind numbing pop of popness. These tracks such as 'Bad Boy's were little stories of characters, situations and lifestyles. Reflect and enjoy these tiny epics. We see little of this in songs today and it is missed enormously.

After a quick shake of that curly quiff and a shudder of the shoulders Elvis style, it's time to settle back with a cocktail and embrace the first of the Mediterranean mood grooves. This next number comes in the sexy shape of 'Ray Of Sunshine.' Bongos galore fill this groovy number. With funky backing track and amusing lyrics, the voices are deepened and speeded up for a higher octave feel. The chorus cries out for audience participation in the form of o a lot of hand clapping. We sway to that lyric, '..sometimes you wake up in the morning with a bass line, a ray of sunshine…' perfect for that sweaty, sun burned night half way through a hot holiday. The whole album has that joyful vacation feel to it. Feel good fun is the name of the game. Now we're in for a party and the dance floor starts humming with a multitude of garish Bermuda shorts and white strap marked shoulders. Jump in the pool for right now, in the front room, it's summertime in July rather than a cold miserable April…'…you know today you're gonna have a good time…' Well, that's what we're here for guys…

'Love Machine' continues in the same vein, but wait a minute, that's not our London boys is it? Sounds awfully like Gladys Knight's Pip's have stolen the microphone and we are endanger of having our tea lights blown out by all that flare flapping leg movements. Violins flit around the verse like a Mowtown track, and what's this? Lots of 'nah nah's ' in true Temptations style? It's certainly Doobie brother funk eighties meets mid seventies style. A fair tribute to the greats of Mowtown. Of course, it is Wham! Before we totally loose ourselves on that colourfully lit dance floor. Move over John Travolta, move and grove and slide like you've never slid on a damp floor before. Written by Moore and Griffin, this is the only track on the album that wasn't written by either or both of our handsome Wham! Still, its closely edging towards big Afro's and matching bow ties. We love it even so.

Now the Four Tops have had their moment of gladness that they are still appreciated, it's now time for the propogandarous theme to get any dole queue grooving like a scene from The Full Monty. If there ever was a track to take the sting out of being unemployed it was 'Wham! Rap.' I wonder if this song was actually responsible for any social uplift in the dole numbers of the mid eighties. It was be interesting to find out if anyone actually took up being unemployed as a glamorous profession on hearing this track. Cleverly produced, full to the brim with catchy chants and wise cracking wit, this track was an entire epic in itself. An anthem of liberation and arrogance, it appears on the surface as a dance floor classic rather than a finger up at the social demise of the working classes. With it's theme of it being cool to be on the dole, it was enough for guys to start a rebellion against the troubles of the Britain at the time. Ultimately timed to perfection for the mood of the era, it was a only the next 'in your face' song about being unemployed since UB40's suggestively political outcries. Set with joy and fun in mind, it was far from a depressing tune. UB40's 'One In Ten,' left us with bitter tastes in our mouths and hit on a few tender nerves in its wake, whereas 'Wham! Rap,' was all about getting on with enjoying life because you're benefit money was going to come in regardless. They chanted that it was better to be out of work than in it, only squares did that. For the rest of us hard working, full time employed public who went out and bought the record, we loved it simply for the extended instrumental break with its bass lines, synths and funky percussion quips. We dreamed about how it would be nice to be unemployed and actually not worry about having no money or no conscience for that matter.

You'll find yourself studying the lyrics on the inside cover for just the thrill of singing along. For anyone over the age of thirty, you will know these lyrics off by heart whether you actually liked the band or not. We revel in such charismatic words as ..'..if you a club, or a pub man, maybe a jet black guy with a hip hi fi. A white cool cat with a trilby hat, maybe leather and studs is where you're at. Make the most of everyday, don't let hard times stand in your way, give a wham, give a bam but don't give a damn 'cos the benefit gang are gonna pay!' They then chant repeatedly 'enjoy what you do..' to the fade out. Good advice for anyone wishing not to earn a whole lot of money. What we failed to notice for a brief moment is that was exactly what Wham! Were doing making this 'lethargic themed' track. A race towards number one, it managed a number 8 on the 15th of January 1983. The irony of it was that it already had been released the previous year in June. We failed to get the joke of it all, and it failed even more to chart any position at all.

Out in the midnight heat, a car rumbles to a grinding halt outside the 'Club Tropicana.' The strangers emerge and click their shoes across the path into the steaming bustle of the pounding crowd. The band take their places to give us a filled to the brim cocktail of tropical sounds and soothing movements. Whilst waves lap the sandy shores, George latkes microphone in hand and leads us into a energetic theme of summer sun and fun. Generating a style of all that is sexy and provocative, we are swooned to death by this captive remote Island anthem where the girls are daintily clad and the guys are just as underdressed entwining themselves in an endless cheesy Ibiza honeymoon. Close your eyes and feel that flight take off into the sunset. Let your mind take to the tropics of romance and after two weeks in the Algarve you'll wish you never bought the record. This hit gets the sunburn dusted off it every year since its release. We have Chris Tarrant's God awful summer compilation albums to thank for drowning our ears on an annual basis. Written by Wham! This record danced its way into the number 4 position in July 1983. Jeepers, was it really that long ago…?

Our crickets chirp away freely and melt away into the intro of this next track. The mood its taken into deeper, cooler waters. A time to get up, check your guests for their orders and slowly zig zag your way to the crowded bar. 'Nothing Looks The Same In The Light,' might has well have been the prototype for the previous track. Too much soothing that give off too much soporific notions. Half asleep and with back itching from too much heat, at least with that vocal so soft, the waiter won't have to lean too far over the counter to hear your extensive order. Drifting into the obscure, this track won't be as memorable as the last. Not a choice for a single release, it was just as well. It was too gentle, half whispered and a little on the flat side. Give it a miss or if your baby won't nod off in the middle of the night, bung this on, so long a s you remember to turn it off before the next track opens…

'Come On!' will wake you suddenly from that nice little snooze. It takes the same funky 'Ray Of Sunshine' theme but without the same punch. Possibly turned down by a young and innocent Madonna in her early years, this track fits well into this album. Perhaps too much good stuff all on one album swamps the listener 's ears to uncontrollable ecstasy. Clap your hands if you feel the need to every line ending in the same rhyme as 'body.' The drummer is obviously cheating at using a drum machine instead to imitating one. Written by Michael, it failed to even make a B side to anything else released. Those Stevie Wonder style keyboards won't lock into crazy dance moves,. It ends quickly and at least gets us into the mood for the next and final piece of super slick pop.

'Young Guns (Go For It)' has been equalled, subjectively to The Specials hit, 'Too Much Too Young.' A song in the same style of half 'Bad Boys' and 'Wham! Rap,' it's half rap half cheeky lyrics. A guy is egging his best friend to leave his fiancé and come back to the good old single life. He parades his free spirited lifestyle and fears that he'll lose his mate due to 'death by matrimony.' It's cute slanging match between girl and guy is a humorous feature and ends with the guy telling her where to get off. Wham! Were the innovators of this style of conversational work entwined within their music. Michael provides the perfect slightly snarling vocal, flicking the rap off the tip of his tongue…'well, I haven't seen your face around town awhile, so I greeted you with a knowing smile, when I saw that girl upon your arm, I knew she'd won your heart with her fatal charm…' We find here that it was a clever poly for not just to reeling in the girlie audience but stick in a good word or two for the male public. Collaborating their music to appeal to both sexes, this final track was a definite for the guys. If 'Wham Rap' led the masses to ditch their jobs for life on the dole, then this track must have broken up a few relationships as the wedding statistics went down the pan… We were obviously entranced by the social gospel according to Wham! We bought this record giving back in return its rightful position of number 3 in October 1982. It was the band's very first hit and with this battle of the sexes tune, they surprisingly, yet predictably, won our hearts.

With only four albums to their name, the presence of Wham! Is still felt today and not just within the voice of George Michael. No one, I guess, could have imagined such a career to come from this cheesy duo from over twenty years ago. It is only perhaps now that we can sit back and appreciate Wham! For what they were now that we have Michael to look fondly upon. Dipping his foot into the solo waters before the band officially broke up, he swam gracefully to the shores of success. In 1986, they went their separate ways. Ridgley failed to give us the same impact as his partner and eventually fizzled out in the unknown trying his hand at motor racing instead with the money he had earned from Wham!

In 1986, they bid their farewells to a crowd at Wembley Stadium, packed the rafters with 72,000 fans.

Even if for nothing else, we can thank Wham! For their sheer escapism that cloaked us and kept us warm through the darker years of eighties pop and disillusioned Britain. They had given us hope and joy if only at drunken birthday parties.

They had, predominately, given us their own brand of unique sunshine…

Lead Vocal - George Michael
Drums - Graham Broad
Bass - Brad Lang
Guitars - Robert Ahwai and Andrew Ridgley
Keyboards - Anne Dudley, (famous for many film and television compositions including the incidental music in the hit film 'Buster,' starring Phil Collins.)
Horns - A. Mackintosh, J. Healey and B. Ezard
Backing vocals - Linda Hayes, Josie James, Shirley Holliman and D.C Lee (also famously known for her vocals in The Style Council.)
Produced by Steve Brown and George Michael
Innervision Records 1983.

Bought in Our Price for around seven pounds on vinyl 1983, but still widely available on CD today.

First published on dooyoo 2006
©sam1942 2006.
 

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