GHV2 (Greatest Hits Vol.2) - Madonna > Reviews > Too Unearthly for Ice Cream

Author's product rating:   

Originality	Average
Lyrics	Standard
Quality and consistency of tracks	Mixed
How does it compare to the artist's other releases	Unmemorable
Value for Money

Advantages:	Some good tracks
Disadvantages:	Some bad tracks

Recommend to potential buyers:

yes

Full review

Before writing this review, I would first of all like to say that I think Madonna is the Queen. Not the Queen of Pop, just the Queen (obviously not the REAL Queen; I’m not labouring under the delusion that its Our Lady Madge underneath the wrinkles and the hair at Buckingham Palace). So, I suppose I really mean that she’s the Queen of Music. I don’t believe that you can limit Madonna’s genius to just one genre. The embarrassing little blip that was the American Life album aside, Mrs Guy Richie rocks.

Which is perhaps why I was slightly surprised, when I bought it, that her Greatest Hits album (albeit Volume 2) wasn’t, well, better. GHV2 isn’t a bad album, by most artist’s standards it would be very good. But for someone as talented and as versatile as Madonna, it seems a bit limp. Possibly Madonna put all her best songs onto her 1990s Immaculate Collection release, then found that she had only the lukewarm ones for her next cash-in, sorry, Greatest Hits album.

Deeper and Deeper – Taken from Erotica
GHV2 opens with Deeper and Deeper, that begins with operatic chords but soon kicks into a classic early ‘90s Madonna love song – or is it? The lyrics are actually about a miner coming to terms with his sexuality: ‘I can’t help falling in love, I fall deeper and deeper the further I go’. The almost Latin choruses and Madonna’s non-computer-enhanced voice (that was to come later with the American Life album) rising and falling make this track an instant winner.
8/10

Erotica – Taken from Erotica
Unfortunately, the promising starting note is completely undermined by the terrible, drumbeat heavy Erotica, where Madonna talks breathily, supposedly sexily, over the pumping background mixing a number of styles, none of which work. ‘Sex noises’ resound as Madonna moans ‘Erotic, erotic, put your hands all over my body’. Er, no thanks, think I’ll pass.
4/10

Human Nature – Taken from Bedtime Stories
The third track on the album is the swirling, dance music inspired Human Nature, accompanied by the raunchy video, showing a leather-clad Madonna spanking her Chihuahua. Human Nature is supposedly about the things people get up in privacy. Madonna sings, mutters, whispers and drawls over the slinky background melody. The lines ‘I’m not apologising/Would it sound better if I were a man/You’re the one with the problem/Why don’t you just deal with it?’ are great for feminism, but overall the song isn’t that special.
6/10

Secret – Taken from Bedtime Stories
Tackling the issue of transvestites, Secret is actually quite a touching song with sweet lyrics, if you ignore the sexual undertones. Madonna sticks to singing and her voice alternately husks and soars as she ‘Mmm mmm’s in time with the lovely guitar and piano riffs in the background. The line ‘Happiness lies in your own hand’ is particularly nice and this mellow song fits in well with the generally excellent Bedtime Stories album from which it came.
7/10

Don’t Cry for me Argentina – Taken from the Evita soundtrack
Madonna tries to make Andrew Lloyd Webber’s classic her own, her voice sounding uncharacteristically pure as she calls out for her lost lover, rendering the resounding music sort of powerless next to her vocals. But Madonna’s stab at opera doesn’t work as well as she might have hoped. She shows off a new side to her voice, and there are thankfully no sexual undertones this time, but what is left is sort of…flat.
5/10

Bedtime Story – Taken from Bedtime Stories
This haunting track, cut from the same cloth as Frozen, sees Madonna back to breathy vocals against a club land beat. Although not really catchy the first time you hear this, it does grow on you, though the repeated chorus of ‘Lets get unconscious’ does grate a bit after a while.
6/10

The Power of Goodbye – Taken from Ray of Light
William Orbit was probably good for Pink – remember how her career was revitalised with Feel Good Time? He is definitely good for Madonna, as this beautiful ballad shows. Lady M’s voice soars as she claims that ‘there’s no greater power than the power of goodbye’. A perfect song for listening to when you’re tired or feeling down, it is one of the best songs on GHV2.
8/10

Beautiful Stranger – Taken from the Austin Powers soundtrack
This psychedelic, 60’s inspired single fits perfectly on the Austin Powers soundtrack. However, here it sounds a little forced – Madonna tries to be down with the kids. She should stick to whispering about sex and soaring ballads, because this, despite being a commercial success, is not a very good song. The video, which sees Madonna dance crazily on a platform while Austin fantasises about her, is equally embarrassing.
3/10

Frozen – Taken from Ray of Light
The next track is the ethereal Frozen, haunting from its first chords. The song relies on Madonna’s gliding, pure voice, interspersed with stylish drum beats and more ‘mmm, mmm’s from the lady herself. The whole sound is suitably wintry, as is the beautiful video, relying on a black-clad Madge and a variety of black animals (a dog and some crows) as the chords resonate. Interesting fact: this song was considered for several ice cream ads but turned down as it was deemed to unearthly for ice cream!
8/10

Take a Bow – Taken from Bedtime Stories and Something to Remember
A song that features on two of my favourite albums, this is a melodic and sombre track that reminds me of listening to Madonna with my sister when I was younger. Madonna sings and murmurs ‘I’ve always been in love with you/I guess you’ve always known its true’ sounding like a return to form for husky-voiced M we all know and love. This isn’t the most exciting track in the world (which could explain its poor commercial success) but its still quite pretty.
7/10

Ray of Light – Taken from Ray of Light
The speeded-up video sees a Madonna dancing wildly in the middle of a crowd of people and fits in perfectly with the fast-pace of the track. The frantic chorus of this William Orbit track calls ‘And I feel/Like I just got home/And I feel/Quicker than a ray of light’. I’m not exactly sure what she’s talking about but it’s still a good song.
7/10

Don’t Tell me – Taken from Music
Madonna goes country! This track is half ballad, half country and western, half pop – oh wait, that’s three halves, making about as much sense as the lyrics to this odd little ditty: ‘Take the black off a crow/But don’t tell me I have to go’. Well, the last time I checked, if you ‘take the black off a crow’ you are left with an angry, bald, sort of pinkish bird that will almost certainly die. That aside, it’s not that much of a bad song, just not a vintage Madonna classic.
5/10

What it Feels like for a Girl – Taken from Music
Another odd one, like much of the Music album. It starts with an English accented-voice talking over a trance background beat, saying ‘Its ok for a girl to look like a boy/But for a boy to look like a girl is degrading/Cause you think that being a girl is degrading’. Apparently, ‘you’d secretly love to know what…it feels like for a girl’. The music isn’t really catchy, and the cool lyrics (‘Hair that twirls on fingertips on fingers, baby/Hands that rest on jutting hips’) aren’t enough to spice up this track that resides, unflatteringly, in amongst the most boring part of the album.
4/10

Drowned World/Substitute for Love – Taken from Ray of Light
This isn’t a double A-side single popular with so many young artists; it’s just a track that appears to have two names. That’s the only vaguely interesting thing about it, however, because it’s so slow its almost going backwards. On the right album, it could be an ok bonus track; indeed, it isn’t too grating on Ray of Light. Here, unfortunately, it’s a very low point for an already not-too-spectacular album.
2/10

Music – Taken from Music
This was a big comeback track for Madonna; the cheeky half-cartoon video featuring Ali G probably helped quite a bit too. It’s a vibrant, bouncy club track, where Madonna’s strangely annoying voice tells us that she likes ‘to boogie-woogie’, as if she is talking to three-year-old Rocco. Music’s beat is admittedly excellent, and its easy to see why this was such a huge hit. I suppose anything that makes ‘bourgeoisie and the rebel’ come together must be good, but this leaves me a bit cold.
6/10

Track average: 5.7

As I said at the start, GHV2 is not exactly a terrible album, nor is it even a bad one. But Madonna is not famous for making ‘not bad’ records; she’s famous for making brilliant ones. When you look at Bedtime Stories, Something to Remember, True Blue and the self-titled debut Madonna, this seems like a very poor comparison.
With the exception of Drowned World/Substitute for Love and possibly Beautiful Stranger, there are no tracks so bad they make you want to tear your own ears off (unlike American Life, where every track made you want to tear your own ears off) but by the same token there is nothing particularly inspiring. As a companion to the stunning Immaculate Collection, the flaws are particularly visible.

The solution? Be thankful that this was made before anything from American Life could worm its way on, then discard and instead buy one of Madonna’s earlier albums, or listen to The Immaculate Collection repeatedly to remind yourself why Madonna really is the Queen.