"I always keep a stimulant handy in case I see a snake - which I also keep handy" - W. C. ...
"I always keep a stimulant handy in case I see a snake - which I also keep handy" - W. C. Fields
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In mid-1999, a very sad thing happened. Due to musical differences, the EMI record label decided to drop Terrorvision, one of the best and most fun rock bands of the 1990’s. The reasoning behind it was simple – EMI had lost around £1 million on Terrorvision in the eight years they had been together. After the huge (No 2 in the charts!) success of a song called “Tequila” from the band’s “Shaving Peaches” album (ironic that the band’s biggest single should be from what was their worst album), EMI suddenly got pound signs in their eyes. They decided that if they marketed Terrorvision as a heavy-pop band, rather than as a soft-rock band, they would have more Top 10 singles and would get their money back.
The band didn’t like this idea at all. Although “Shaving Peaches” had been more pop friendly that their previous albums, their long-standing fans hadn’t liked it, and Terrorvision didn’t want to follow that road any further. However, the band were having too much fun to give up, and signed a fresh record deal in order to show EMI, and the world, what they’d been foolish enough to throw away.
The world rejoiced. Well, certain parts of the world did, anyway. My house rejoiced, at least, and the album was bought and played to death. It’s not as good as the “How to Make Friends and Influence People” album which made 1994 the year of Terrorvision on the rock circuit, but it certainly wasn’t far behind “Regular Urban Survivors”, which had produced their biggest hit thus far in 1996. And it knocked spots off “Shaving Peaches” which, after all, was the band’s main aim at that point. It stuck two fingers up at EMI and shouted “we’re still here, and we’re still great!” Had either we or they known this album was to be their last, we may not have been so happy about it.
Opener “D’Ya Wanna Go Faster”, however, seems to inhabit the waste ground between the Terrorvision they wanted to be and the Terrorvision EMI wanted. You can sum up Terrorvision’s entire career in this song – musically entertaining, lyrically inept. It’s a glorious track, slightly on the heavier end of the pop-rock spectrum throughout
the chorus, but with a strange dancey beat over the back of the verses. It’s not poppy enough to alienate the rock fans, but is probably just rock enough to annoy pop fans. Just the way Terrorvision should be, in fact! The inclusion of a female backing vocal shows that lessons have been learned from “Tequila”, however.
“Come Home Beanie” makes no such compromise. Quite possibly the heaviest track Terrorvision ever released. Tony Wright gives up on moderating his vocals and simply screams through the whole song. It’s not quite strong enough to be termed as “punk”, although the vocal style is very much the same, and it comes a lot closer than today’s so called pop-punk bands. It’s purely bass-heavy driven rock music. Unfortunately, this isn’t really what Terrorvision are best at, and it does show.
One thing Terrorvision have always been good at is pleasing a live crowd. And what better way to keep them happy than to have a song with a huge singalong chorus which contains a swear word. “Friends and Family” opens with the immortal lines “Party over here/F**k you over there”. Again, lessons have been learned from “Tequila” in that there appears to be some schoolchildren taking backing vocals during the chorus, which can’t really be on! The song itself is a fairly formulaic rock song, with nothing really happening in the verses, either lyrically or musically, and all to be forgotten when the chorus kicks in. It’s not intended as a great song, merely great entertainment. It succeeds admirably!
“Sometimes I’d Like Kill Her” is a deceptively laid back song, bearing the title in mind. The chorus is loud and rocky, but the verses are a little more restrained. Slightly down tempo, slightly more poppy, it combines nicely with the chorus to provide a nice enough rock tune, but not one that really stands out. It’s almost as if they’re trying to use the chorus to wake the listener up.
For anyone seeing the title and thinking of Heart’s big 1980’s power ballad, the opening seconds of “Alone” immediately dispels thoughts of comparison. Whilst not as driven and heavy rocking as “Come Home Beanie”, this track is definitely its’ half brother. Tony’s vocals are again more shouted than sung, although he doesn’t seem to be straining his voice box as much here.
During Terrorvision’s last ever London gig, Tony introduced “Fists of Fury” as “the best pop song you never heard on the radio”. Sadly, this appears to be true on both counts and this was to be the song that caused the band to call it a day. Due to be the second single from the album, things had progressed far enough that a video had even been shot. Then, Radio 1 decided that Terrorvision were no longer relevant and refused to put the single on their playlist. Every other radio station followed, and the single was never released. Without radio support, a band will have trouble surviving, and so Terrorvision retired.
Radio 1 not only deprived the world of a great band, they also turned their back on a great song. Maybe the opening bass riff sounds like it’s been lifted from “Can You Feel It?”, but It’s still a great heavy-pop song, filled with humour, stupid lyrics, and an almost banjo sounding guitar riff that will stick in your head for hours. Combine that with lyrics like “You’ve got to dial 9/To get an outside line/To dial 999 from here/Press 1 if it’s urgent/2 for a real emergency” and you can’t not have fun while listening to this one.
There is one thing that makes “Unhappy Millionaire” stick out from any other Terrorvision track, and it’s immediate from the first words. The female backing vocals are more prominent than ever before, even seeming to take over for the chorus, although to verses are just Tony. The song is slightly more bass heavy and down tempo than most on the album, and after the almost pure pop of the previous track seems very dark and heavy rock in comparison.
Whatever their chart status, Terrorvision have been proud of being Yorkshiremen. “We’re Terrorvision. From Bradford” was an introductory line they used right up until the end. It is possibly only Terrorvision that could open a song with the lines “Simple man, simple needs/Born in New York and lived in Leeds” and make it sound like a boast, as they do on “Days Like These”. The song is pretty much what you expect from Terrorvision. It’s a simple pure rock track, with a guitar riff which harks back to their “Regular Urban Survivors” album, Tony’s vocals over the top of everything and a nice hook on the chorus you can sing along to.
But what it this I hear? Regret? From the Bradford funsters? It would appear so. “From Out Of Nothing” is the one ballad tempo track here, with a piano heavily featured. Lines like “Restricted access to former glories” suggests that they’re harking back to their days with EMI, and wondering if they’ve made the right decision to do what the fans wanted rather than what the record label wanted. Tony’s voice hits just the right level of yearning, and the inclusion of Josephine’s backing vocal underpins and enriches the song as well as the message.
“Subway” is back to the Terrorvision we all know and love. Again, a slightly heavier riff, although without tending towards the punky side of things this time around. It sounds more like the band’s very early material than anything else, before they started getting big and were still playing for themselves rather than for a label. Better than anything else this suggests that their aims of leaving EMI behind are being met. It’s a musical and emotional uplift after the previous track. The lyrics still make very little sense, in true Terrorvision style!
You can only guess at what the band were taking when they wrote something called “Goldmine Jamjar”. It’s not one of the better tracks on the album, but it’s certainly got the best title! It’s another slower track, with a big, loud chorus in the true Terrorvision rock style.
Although there are some pretty decent rock tracks on the album, this is nowhere near Terrorvision at their best. Maybe at a couple of points, but not generally speaking. It’s certainly a return to something approaching form after the let down that was “Shaving Peaches”, but if you’re looking to get into Terrorvision, or are a fan of great British rock in general, I would recommend “How to Make Friends and Influence People” or the “Whales and Dolphins” Greatest Hits album as being the best place to start.
It’s sad to see how far the mighty can fall, but hanging around to see their efforts at picking themselves up can be worth the effort. Sadly, Terrorvision didn’t pick themselves all the way up, and there is unlikely to be another try, as with Thunder, as all the band members have now gone their separate ways, mostly into new bands. I suspect that this is not the glorious farewell they’d have wanted.
This album is really only for the dedicated Terrorvision fan who already has the majority of their back catalogue, including the albums mentioned above. For you, it’s available on Amazon.co.uk for £7.99 including postage, or at Musica.co.uk for £8.00, without postage. For anyone else, both "Whales and Dolphins" and "...Friends" are available from Amazon at £7.99 plus postage, or Musica for £9.00 inclusive.
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Brilliant - a history lesson of my one time faves after I lost interest... Although, "musically entertaining, lyrically inept" sums up most of their output (in a nice way)
Dodie 13.12.2003 20:44
I never liked Tequila, much prefered How To Make Friends & Influence People. Never listened to that for a while now I think about it, it must be time to dig it out and slap it on :o)
Sootica.P.Monster 07.10.2003 11:58
Oh I do have a soft spot for Terrorvision. Particularly since Mark compared me to Kylie-I don't get it, but yay for Mark all the same! It's sad to see them leave... They were in a musical niche of their own, kind of like cuddly rock. Sootica XXX
Terrorvision's barkingly brilliant 1996 albumRegular Urban Survivors(loud rock music with ... more
big luminous tunes in it; scientists were baffled) arrived in the aftermath of all that moping, stoop-shouldered grunge stuff and was as welcome as a sunlamp in a...
Postage & Packaging: £1.21 Availability: Usually dispatched within 1-2 business days...
Terrorvision's barkingly brilliant 1996 albumRegular Urban Survivors(loud rock music with ... more
big luminous tunes in it; scientists were baffled) arrived in the aftermath of all that moping, stoop-shouldered grunge stuff and was as welcome as a sunlamp in a...
Postage & Packaging: £1.21 Availability: Usually dispatched within 1-2 business days...
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