Lily Allen - Alright Still

The year was 1995, I was a fresh faced fourteen year old boy with a passionate dislike for anything main stream. Robson and Jerome filled the air waves, Blur were still cool, and my sister got me Scatman for my birthday, nowadays that would have severely different connotations but at the time I, and in some ways the world, was still innocent. The song of the moment was "Ironic" by Alanis Morissette, every teenager in the country knew the words off by heart and all the ones with pocket money had the album, and yet if I try to listen to it now it just makes me wonder if my parents had been slipping tranquilizers into my food.

Fast forward to the year 2000, I was nineteen years old and the thinnest I had ever been, We had all survived the Millennium bug, but I was still suffering from the Millennium hang over , Britney hadn't been hit one more time yet, people still believed Ricky Martin was straight, although some of us lived in hope. Martine McCutcheon was having a perfect moment before plummeting into obscurity, and I had just been introduced to Tracey Chapman. I was in love with her voice, that wonderful mix of masculine and feminine, or was it just that she sounded like she had smoked sixty a day since before she was born? Her lyrics rang so true to me in an angst filled way that Alanis's album was cast aside not to be listened to for many years.

We reach the year of 2006, I'm a successful twenty four year old and have a terrible addiction to a particular website which shall remain nameless. Chico had his short lived time, for which I will never forgive Sharon, but as I haven't forgiven her for Kelly yet I'm sure that she won't mind, and the lyrical genius Lily Allen graces our airwaves for the first time. I know I can hear you all shouting "get on with it" so I will. For the purposes of a fair and open minded review, I went and bought a copy of this CD for my mother to listen to so she could balance out my opinion with a different generation's view, so whenever you see the words "Mummy Says" that is quite literally what my mummy says about that particular track. Enjoy.

--- Who Is She ---

Are we all right still (get it? do you? Really?) Then I will begin. Lilly Allen had her first album released on the 17th July 2006. As the daughter of Keith Allen it could have been easily dismissed as the talentless offerings of a famous child only reaching our ears due to lashings of nepotism. Thankfully this is not the case, assuming she can follow up this album with another of the same or higher quality then she will be around for a long time to come.

--- The Tracks ---

***** Smile *****
Smile is a song to Lily's Ex boyfriend. They ended badly due to him bumping uglies with the girl next door, which lets face it is a good reason to end a relationship. After moving on and dealing with the situation, he comes crawling back and she gets to laugh and smile at him. I've lost count of the times men have come crawling back to me, ok so its normally to ask for their things back as I had no right to take them, but come crawling back they do,

-Genius Lyric-
When you first left me I was wanting morrrreeeeeee,
But you were F***ing that girl next doooorrrrr,
What you do that for, what you do that for,

-Mummy Says-
Girls survive, girls have friends - any connection?

***** Knock 'Em Out *****
Have you ever been in a pub or a club and had the continual attention of a Suiter that you could really do with out and no matter what you say or do they just won't give up. Thinking back to my youth, wow that's harder than I realized, I recall one night out with my friends. This one guy just wouldn't leave me alone, eventually he came out with the line "where have you been all my life?" well that didn't leave me much direction to go in apart from to reply "half of it I wasn't born, and the other half I was avoiding you". Lily would have known just how I felt as that kind of situation is just what this song is about.

-Genius Lyric-
Can't knock 'em out, cant walk away, try desperately to think of the politest way to say,
Just get out my face, just leave me alone, and no you can't have my number, cos I lost my phone.

-Mummy Says-
Pick ups and put downs. We don't need them. Subtlety is no longer us.

***** LDN *****
Have you ever had one of those days where you end up having to ride a push bike round London because the police took away your driving license? No? well, ok, me neither but that is what the wonderful Lily is trying to convey in this song, the sites that can bee seen round our fair capital when you aren't rushing around in you own vehicle, or if indeed you are unfortunate enough to be trying to rush around on public transport.

-Genius Lyric-
A fella looking dapper and he's sitting on a slapper,
Then I see it's a pimp and his crack whore

-Mummy Says-
Life is going down the drain, but this is MY life and I am going to enjoy it despite everything.

***** Everything's Just Wonderful *****
Well, I was watching a program last night all about this kind of thing. Its strange isn't it as we move into a consumer driven age the one thing we truly need is the one thing we get the worst service from: banks. I had it a few years ago, someone called me up and asked if I would like an extra thousand pounds on my overdraft. Shockingly enough I said "no" and told them not to call me again unless someone was trying to steal all my money. A few months down the line and I needed the money, would they extend my overdraft? Surprise surprise, no. Lily is having a similar problem she wants to buy a house but can't raise the mortgage, I suppose the simple thing for her to do would be to go cap in hand to daddy but that wouldn't make a very good song now would it.

-Genius Lyric-
It's just the beaurocrates that won't give me a mortgage,
It's very funny cos I got your f***ing money,
And your never gona get it just cos of my bad credit,

-Mummy Says-
I'd be just fine if it wasn't for everyone else out there!

***** Not Big *****
Well we can all sympathise here. You reach that point at the end of a relationship when all the crying, and the wailing, not like in Moby dick, in the screaming kind of way, just gets to you and you cant hold back any more. For their own good you let loose and all the bad points from the last year and a half come flooding out. Listening to the lyrics I do feel slightly sorry for the guy on the receiving end of Lily's pointed tongue but from what she says I eventually have to side with her.

-Genius Lyric-
Yea let's rewind, let's turn back time, to when you couldn't get it up,
You know what it should have ended there, that's when I should have show you the door,
As if that weren't enough to deal with, you became premature

-Mummy Says-
Relationships are not all about sex, for us, we will put up with all sorts of things if we are in love, but heaven help you when they are over.

***** Friday Night *****
This brought back some memories. You get all done up, you head off out, your having a great night and you meet someone in the queue to the club that you just instantly dislike. The feeling being mutual it doesn't bode well for the evening. Telling the bouncer you're smuggling drugs is one thing, but nudging you on the dance floor is a step too far. I can hear you all crying "what's a nudge between friends?" well its all fun and games until someone gets pushed off their podium, or out of their cage. You wouldn't be laughing then, now would you?

-Genius Lyric-
In the club made our way to the bar
Good dancer love but you should have worn a bra

-Mummy Says-
Laddish behavior is getting more and more common (n that's OK)

***** Shame For You *****
A song for all those rude boys out there, those guys that think they are players, well my friend Lily has some news for you, we all know. You can put it about all you like but when it comes to the likes of me and Lily, we aren't interested in you, or the GUM clinic.

-Genius Lyric-
Oww my gosh you must be joking me
If you think that you'll be poking me

-Mummy Says-
It might be over, but I will survive - you are not the be all and end all!

***** Littlest Things *****
Well it doesn't seem like Lily is having too much luck with men as she has reached the end of another relationship. This one she liked, you know the type, lovely, sweet, caring, he takes you on romantic days out and you spend the whole weekend only leaving the bedroom to go to the bathroom and use the kitchen. Unfortunately even the good guys have their dirty little secrets, when will they learn? She will miss him, but she is better off without him.

-Genius Lyric-
Drinking tea in bed, watching DVD's
When I discovered all your dirty grotty magazines

-Mummy Says-
Letting go of the love you felt, but know is over, and why its' over! Even so it's hard to let go of what might have been.

***** Take What You Take *****
This one I think we can all relate to, it's a little song written especially for those that can't keep their noses where they belong. Just because she is young, pretty and a girl doesn't mean she needs help, or more importantly platitudes, from someone she doesn't like or respect. There's a lesson there for all of us I think ;-)

-Genius Lyric-
What the f**k do you know, just cos your old you think you're right
Who the hell are you though, I didn't even ask for your advice

-Mummy Says-
Everyone else should keep their outdated clichés to themselves - we are young, not old

***** Friend Of Mine *****
Some friendships are great, you support each other when needed and you relax with each other when not. Some, however, are less healthy. When you are always supporting someone you become their career, and unless you're a registered nurse this is no good, when you realize that every time you offer help you have it thrown back, you start to wonder what to do, and what is best for your self. Poor Lilly.

-Genius Lyric-
What happened to the good old days?
I was kinda hoping this was all a stupid phase

-Mummy Says-
Friendships don't always last forever like in books, but that is OK

***** Alfie *****
Always good to end on a nice note. I was lucky enough to be a little brother, you might be asking why this was lucky, quite simply it is because that means I didn't have a little brother. I had great fun booby trapping my sister's bedroom door, cutting the hair on her dolls, pulling the heads off her My Little Pony's, doing all the things little brothers are supposed to do. My favorite was when I attached a rather large battery to her door handle and then applied some Vaseline on the outside to ensure a good connection. I'm sure if her legs had been working properly I would have been in for it but she was a bit wobbly. My good old friend Lily also has a little brother, but hers is more of a problem due to the lack of things he does, rather then the things he does.

-Genius Lyric-
Now how the hell do you ever expect that you'll get laid?
When all you do is stay in playing your computer games

-Mummy Says-
One sibling relationship, seen in different ways

--- The boring bit ---

Now there will probably going to be three groups of people now, those who already own the album so know what it looks like, those who will be buying the album, so I will shortly be spoiling the surprise, and those who will never even listen to the album but insist on having a full and detailed description of what it looks like on account of being sadists. So for those of you who have bought the CD, or will be buying it, you will notice it is shrink wrapped in clear plastic, probably with some sort of anti-theft device attached, and on the front there is a lovely picture of my new best friend Lily Allen sat on some kind of bicycle type of thing. Can you tell my heart isn't really in this bit?

As for the cost, from amazon.co.uk it is £7.99, and if you buy three that will mean you have spent enough to qualify for free postage and packaging, and you will then have presents for the next two birthdays coming your way.

Many thanks for reading I hope I made you chuckle,

Painty.