Neptunes Present...Clones, The [PA] - Neptunes (The)

...the past 2 years, the Neptunes team of Chad Hugo and Pharrell Williams have plagued the commercial music industry like cancer. Theyve produced a countless amount of hits for not only hip-hop artists, but have crossed over into R&B and pop and supplied their futurisitic beats for other artists in other genres. Both usually stand behind the boards, but Pharrell Williams has grown accustomed to singing hooks for acts such as The Clipse, Jay-Z, Snoop ...
...too commercial. Anyways, recently the Neptunes have released a compilation of new beats with the so-called "hottest" rappers out there, an album entitled Clones. Even though these guys are relatively good behind the boards, they dont bring anything new to the table and are extremely repetitive, not to mention their choice of rappers for this album is... in a word.. poor. The real name of this album shoud've been "The Neptunes Present... ... more

For the past 2 years, the Neptunes team of Chad Hugo and Pharrell Williams have plagued the commercial music industry like cancer. Theyve produced a countless amount of hits for not only hip-hop artists, but have crossed over into R&B and pop and supplied their futurisitic beats for other artists in other genres. Both usually stand behind the boards, but Pharrell Williams has grown accustomed to singing hooks for acts such as The Clipse, Jay-Z, Snoop Dogg, and Ludacris. Pharrell Williams is talented to me and his voice is great for hip-hop / R&B, but a bit too commercial. Anyways, recently the Neptunes have released a compilation of new beats with the so-called "hottest" rappers out there, an album entitled Clones. Even though these guys are relatively good behind the boards, they dont bring anything new to the table and are extremely repetitive, not to mention their choice of rappers for this album is... in a word.. poor. The real name of this album shoud've been "The Neptunes Present... CRAP".

Admittedly, a lot of the beats on this album are well-produced, and this would be a perfectly competent album if the Neptunes did one of two things, get better lyricists or provide just instrumentals. A lot of the songs are heavy on production, featuring some unique production and great new sounds found by the Neptunes, but with poor subject matter and lyrics, which brings Clones down for people who favor lyrics over beats.

A perfect example of this is Busta Rhymes second single "Light Your A** on Fire". The beat, though clubbish, features some new sounds. The bongo drums mixed with claps are in a somewhat different assortment, giving it a unique echo which ive rarely heard on a hip-hop track. However, Busta Rhymes comes off as terrible, proving to me once again that his best moments are far behind him. He spits nonsensical commercial dribble about booty-dancing and clubbish themes. I would light my a** on fire literally than listen to this... (HERE WE GO!!!!)

Of course, if this is a Neptunes album, you know The Clipse is gonna pop in there more than once. Their first track is "Blaze of Glory". Plain and Simple, i just cannot stand this song. The beat is terrible, featuring a completely off-balance medley of bass, synthesizer, and trumpets which sound completely terrible. The rappers on this track are less than average, as Clipse once again tries their very best to hit us with dope rhymes, but fails miserably. Ab-Liva is a tiny bit better, with a small multi-syllable flow at times and a couple of dope punches, but nothing special. The song tries too hard to be aggressive, but it sounds terrible. Skip it...

"It Wasn't Us" is a pure club piece of trash. Ludacris is usually humorous on the mic, but on this track hes missing out on his normally memorable punches. The beat is just too damn clubbish, with the Neptunes over-use of synthesizers, adding a unique whistling sound. Ill give the Neptunes credit, they can definetely be innovative and creative, but at times this leads to annoying clubbish beats, and im sure the Neptunes are capable of more, it sort of saddens me.

I find it rather humorous that the first dope track on this album isn't even a hip-hop track, but an R&B track. Pharrell hits us with his solo jam and lead-single "Frontin".

Pharrell has an excellent R&B singing voice, as he has the ability to raise and lower the pitch of his voice, but usually stays high. The track sounds a tiny bit too much like a Justin Timberlake song, but it still hits the spot. Pharrell's smooth R&B vocals, the dope and soothing Neptunes production, and Jay-Z's short, but on-point flow make this track an excellent one and actually one of the highlights of Clones. If the album were loaded with more songs like this, it would be a more than worthy purchase. Im usually against producers making records, but Pharrell has enough talent to make it far without selling-out. Unfortunately, by just having a look at the track list, you can tell that its too late for that.

We go from good R&B to absolutely awful R&B with "Good Girl". Vanessa Marquez sings over superb Neptunes production, but her voice is just... terrible, at least on this song. The song has a more poppy feel to it, sounding like a Britney Spears song, but i personally can't stand the premise or the vocals of this song, making it somewhat unlistenable. Even though the beat isn't bad whatsoever, it might fit better for Pharrell to sing over it and not this b*tch.

Everybody knows i hate Nelly, but im not biased. However, as expected "If" is terrible. The sad thing is that the beat is rather good. The Neptunes provide Nelly a very dope piano and synthesized beat, which reminds me of early Playstation music, but it sounds very good. However, Nelly's choppy flow, terribly commercialized lyrics, and lack of vocabulary kill any momentum the track could've had. Nelly raps mysogonystic commercialism with terrible rhymes and his typical sing-song bullsh*t. His lyrics bring the song all the way down to a 0 Star Rating, but the beat puts it at 1 Star.

Newly signed Star Trak artist Roscoe P. Goldchain gets a joint with a few other members of the Neptunes label on "Hot". The beat is very simplistic, unique, and seemingly unheard of. Featuring a scratch snare, some very low chimes, and a simple drum loop with no bass, the atmosphere is seemingly non-existant and the song is low, im guessing so that the emcees could flex their vocal muscles. Admittedly, some of the lyrics on this track are indeed dope, but their refusal to remain on subject sort of pulls it down, besides the fact that their lyrics are average as expected. The main event here though is the abstract production, which is something that ive honestly never heard, making it sound as if somebody vocally scratched these noises in a cypher, which is a unique feel. I suggest checking this song out if you can just to hear the beat, or lack-there-of a beat.

Commercial Sell-Out Snoop Dogg pops up here on "It Blows My Mind" as he returns to rapping about nothing, except himself. Snoop does his sort of charismatic flow which everybody knows, and his rhymes are below average, but not as terrible as i thought they would be. But its nothing special whatsoever as he once again proves why his best days are far behind him. The beat however, is extraordinarily unique, as always. The Neptunes give us a thumping echoing drum with some chimes in the background, and seemingly no bass, except for what the drum gives it. The chorus is done by Pharrell im guessing, and its sort of catchy, but probably not enough for a commercial single. Message for Snoop: RETIRE!!!!! RETIRE!!!!! RETIRE NOW!!!!!

Spymob is... rock. I heard that the Neptunes signed a rock group onto their label, but i had no clue it was on here. Well, to me "Half-Steering" is typical punk-sounding with rock lyrics. The guitar rift is alright, but nothing special. Im not a big fan of punk music, but i do know good music when i hear it, and this is not good music to me. Even though one riveting part on the song with the violins is dope, the rest of it is sort of mediocre to me. If you bought this album for the hip-hop, the skip this, along with the High Speed track "F*ckin Spend". In my opinion, the High Speed track is a lot better, with a louder vocalist and a pounding guitar rift. This is good rock music, but nothing extraordinary, and a bit too short. Im guessing that the Neptunes wanted to give previews of their new rock acts coming out on Star Trak. Well there ya go.

N.E.R.D. return on "Loser". N.E.R.D. team up with Clipse for a very pseudo-rock sounding track, which sounds like a freakin punk song at the start, with a guitar rift, melodic vocals, and seemingly a steel drum. After listening to the track we get to The Clipse flow, which is actually not too bad and they manage to fit within the music in the background. This track is more of a rock-rap mixture, and not just hip-hop music. Ill give the Neptunes credit, they are great at experimenting with new styles and blending styles and being creative, but they need to knock out the commercial crap.

I suggest skipping "Rock n Roll". Even though the beat is worth listening to, the rapper Fam-Lay is the worst emcee ive heard thusfar on this album, yes hes worse than Nelly. Fam-Lay's lyrics are among the worst ever, as he spits uninspired, whack-a** lyrics, with a vocabulary matching that of an unborn child, and a choppy flow. Fam-Lay raps about money and drugs as every rapper does, but he sounds just terrible. This is the pure definition of commercial rap in my honest opinion, and i simply hate it. This is terrible. I'd rather watch Golf than listen to this...

"The Don of the Dons" is terrible. First, we get a fake-a** Sean Paul rapping his unlistenable jamaican lyrics, and Jadakiss giving us a relatively dope performance. However, both these vocalists are brung down by bad production. There is simply too much going on in the background. The funky guitar doesn't match with the synthesizers whatsoever, and the track sounds a bit funny production-wise. Personally myself, i would not stick this into my cd player.

Fans of The Clipse should recognize "Hot Damn". This track was originally on the Lord Willin' album, but this is the clean remixed version. The lyrics are altered, as well as the chorus. The beat thankfully stays the same, with that epic piano and trumpet medley which is definetely head-knodding and one of the best Neptunes beat ever. The lyrics in my opinion, are watered-down on this version, with less memorable punchlines and less witty clever flows. The Clipse stays with their slightly above average performance, but the guests get a tad bit on the annoying side. It was smart to put this track on this album, since it'll definetely help sell the album.

Noreaga and Pharrell drop by to make an absolutely terrible clubbish song "Put Em Up". This could be the worst song on this entire album. The clubbish beat, overproduced bullsh*t, triple-cadence flow and female vocals make this as commercial as it can possibly get. I dont know who started that crap about Noreaga being a dope lyricist, cause he is FAR from it. Noreaga is TERRIBLE. Personally, i would rather nail my testicles to a board with a nail than listen to this.

At last, after the many years of being away, Old Dirty Bastard a.k.a. Dirt McGirt is BACK. The Neptunes provide the beat for the excellent "Pop Sh*t". The Neptunes beat is a very fitting, over-the-top sounding arrangement with a crazy guitar rift and drum loop. The sound effects in the background are fitting for Dirt, as he makes his triumphant return. His lyrics are, as expected, insane! ODB is truly back, as he spits exactly the same as he did when we left off, with over-the-top lyrics, his memorable angry delivery, and a dope flow. ODB is excellent on the track as i truly feel that his lyrics have maybe even improved a tiny bit since his last outing.

Engaged to be Married couple Nas and Kelis (I think they're engaged) finish off the album with the terrible "Popular Thug", which is a huge dissapointment for a Nas fan like myself. This track sounds as if it was seemingly pulled right out of Nastradamus. Nas tries be a player / thug / gangsta once again, with uninspired lyrics and terrible subject matter, which is saddening. It sort of bothers me that Nas refuses to stick to one persona, and seems to sound like he is selling out once again. Kelis' vocals are admittedly nice, but boring at the same time. The song has a unique feel when it comes to production, as the Neptunes give us a semi-clubbish R&B beat, with guitars, synthesizers, and organ piano. However Nas (incredibly enough), has made this track unlistenable, with his terrible lyrics.

The only thing Clones has going for itself is the beats. The Neptunes, though commercial, are very good producers and skilled at making unique beats with extraordinary sounds. Unfortunately for them, their choice of emcees is somewhat limited, as they seemingly choose and sign some of the worst lyricists in the game. The sad thing is, even when they bring Nas along, who is one of the greatest of all time, even he f*cks it up with his sell-out mentality. I would've preferred that this album be more of an instrumental piece than a showcase of artists. 

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