+ THE INTRODUCTION +

I first became aware of Californian Katy Perry when Hollywood gossip queen and my future Best-Friend-Forever (BFF) Perez Hilton was raving about her eyebrow-raising and track 'I Kissed A Girl'. Admittedly, I ignored his sound advice to give her a try (I tend to get driven away from anything over-hyped or over-marketed... if something is that good, why on earth are you spending so much on advertising?!). Don't ask me why I did... perhaps I was in the mood for looking at boobies, perhaps I was drunk (both are incredibly likely), but I went online and watched the video to judge the track for myself and instantly loved it (the girls writhing around in the video may have helped somewhat, mind).

I ended up with the album after numerous disastrous attempts at downloading the single and ending up with random wrongly-labelled shitty remixes. I figured the album was a much safer bet for getting the original version, and this - dear readers - is what I found...

+ THE ALBUM +

01. ONE OF THE BOYS - (04:07)

This starts off with quite a bouncy bassline and rather indie-ish in nature with cute/possibly annoying 'doo doo do-doo-do's... the catchy hook continues throughout the song and is a great start to an album and will definitely get the crowd going at a concert. Excellent starter track and a song that thousands of high school girls will want to sing at some unrequited love, although I can't put my finger on what 1999/2000 band it reminds me of. Katy's vocals are a pleasure to listen to, as she laments over wanting to be seen as a girl - with boobies! - rather than 'one of the boys'...

"So over the summer, something changed
I started reading Seventeen and shaving my legs
and I studied Lolita religiously
and I walked right into school and caught you staring at me"

02. I KISSED A GIRL - (03:00)

A simple but memorable bass beat dominates, and the track is a far cry from the previous track... more electro and steady like you'd expect to hear in a club. It's a track almost everyone will have heard already if you listen to any mainstream radio stations, and to me it's a fun song (not in a cheesy pop way... in a pervy 'Cat Scratch Fever' kinda way) - although it's got religious and gay rights groups up in arms. Any publicity, etc... Katy's vocals are still really good but feel a bit less natural than the previous track but I don't care - kissing girls rocks!

"No I don't even know your name, it doesn't matter
You're my experimental game, just human nature
It's not what good girls do, not how they should behave
My head gets so confused, so hard to obey"

03. WAKING UP IN VEGAS - (03:19)

Sounds of a slot machine paying out starts the song, and we're back to the indie-ish feel that we first experienced in track one - this is a song where you can predict the accompanying video to contain: shaky camera angles, arguing in the hotel room... changing to a shot of Katy and band onstange at the crescendo of the chorus. Another crowd pleaser for sure, with a slighty more rock edge - as much as it makes my skin crawl, I'd expect Avril Latrine to have done something like this before the whole 'gone blonde-I wanna act' shite. Don't hold that against it though - it's a decent track with a sing-a-long chorus.

"Why are these lights so bright?
Did we get hitched last night?
Dressed up like Elvis
Why am I wearing your class ring?
Don't call your mother 'cause now we're partners in crime"

04. THINKING OF YOU - (04:06)

Starts off with an acoustic guitar and Katy's voice in the forefront - quite Michelle Branch in a way before it does that soft rock ballad thing and turns itself up a notch for the chorus then continues that way. Quite so-so, you'd expect to hear it on Dawson's Creek or whatever it is the kids are watching these days. Preferably during a prom scene where there's a love triangle. Yep, 'predictable' possibly best sums up this track. Anybody could be doing this, it's that generic. Boo!

"He kissed my lips
I taste your mouth
He pulled me in
I was disgusted with myself"

05. MANNEQUIN - (03:17)

Quite an odd song to me, possibly since I can't quite identify with the topic. Katy's not happy, quite upset really as she believes the guy she loves is a total apathetic wreck and essentially a dummy - or mannequin, if you will. Music-wise, this is again so-so - won't get the crowds going as much unless the first few rows are full of angsty girls pissed with their empty-shelled excuse for boyfriends. Bah. Katy, get the girlies in their knickers out again - I'm getting bored.

"I wish I could just turn you on
put a battery in and make you talk
even pull a string for you to say anything
But with you there is no guarantee
only expired warranty, a bunch of broken parts
but I can't seem to find your heart"

06. UR SO GAY - (03:39)

Starts off a bit morose and steady with a piano accompaniment and a brief Portishead 'warp-y' moment, catchy in a sense but not one to dance to. The producer seems to have gone a bit Mark Ronson and shoved in some brass instruments to add more depth to a pretty shallow song, and some folk are pissed about her using 'gay' as an insult - it's fairly childish lyrically but so's the person it's about. Upon saying that, no doubt some will love this song because they can't vent in a proper way with decent angry metal songs. Tut tut. Admittedly, the last line is quite funny although this whole 'you're not acting like yourself' thing has already been covered by Avril albeit with a 'preppy' boy. Down with poseurs!

"I hope you hang yourself with your H&M scarf
while jacking off listening to Mozart
You bitch and moan about L.A.
wishing you were in the rain reading Hemingway"

07. HOT N COLD - (03:40)

*Ring ring, ring ring* Hello, Katy? The 80's want their electro-dance beat back!
A club track, and no doubt - would be interesting to see how it would work live. Loud and proud - get the glowsticks out and put your handbags (or manbags) on the floor to dance around as Katy is listing the Jekyll and Hyde tendancies of someone - a breath of fresh air to revive my interest, not necessarily for the lyrics but more because I can bop around to it sober and dance on tables to it when drunk. Everyone's happy!

"Someone call the doctor
got a case of love bi-polar
Stuck on a roller coaster
can't get off this ride
You change your mind like a girl changes clothes"

08. IF YOU CAN AFFORD ME - (03:18)

The track starts off sounding like it would belong on Pretty Woman when Vivien is getting ready (oddly fitting, considering the title)... this would work well live, but isn't a standout track to me although would not doubt happily feature on some teen movie soundtrack. It remains pretty upbeat throughout and I imagine was intended to be an anthem but I think falls a bit flat for someone like me who's used to listening and singing to more aggressive 'rockier' tracks about the same kind of subject. Reminds me a little of the Lightning Seeds in parts, strangely enough.

"If you want me, it takes more than a wink
and more than a drink, more than you think
If you want me you're gonna
have to break the bank tonight"

09. LOST - (04:16)

Spacey... lullaby chimes... bit downbeat... who let Chris Martin near the mixing desk? Out! Out, I say! Disenchanted with life and what-not... c'mon, this has all been heard

Pictures of One Of The Boys - Katy Perry

See? Skimpy shorts.

before - I probably would have listened to it more during my early teenage years when I was suffering with undiagnosed depression and hadn't yet discovered the wonders of angry metal and punk music. Bit of a come-down really, which I'm not chuffed about. I'll probably have to put on Mika's 'Big Girls' after this to recover if it doesn't pick up again.

"My mother says I should come back home
but can't find the way 'cause the way is gone
so if I pray am I just
sending words into outer space?"

10. SELF INFLICTED - (03:25)

Back to a slighty more pop-rock anthemic tune, which admittedly is very generic musically - I've heard those distorted riffs and drumrolls before, honey... it's nothing new! Few will likely care, but if it gets the crowd going and you're happy to forego the facts and bounce along, that's just fine. Again, pictured during a scene in a teen movie when an on-off-maybe couple reconcile or finally declare their love for each other. Bleh. It's becoming clear this album is aimed more towards teenagers. If I were at a gig, I imagine I'd be part of the minority that were legally allowed to drink. Pass the tequila.

"With each scar there's a map that tells a story
with a souvenir of young love's like jumping out
An airplane riding a tidal wave on an ocean of emotion
my heart rips me wide open"

11. I'M STILL BREATHING (03:48)

Expecting an uplifting, 'I've survived and I'm better than you' anthem... instead I got a slow and steady downbeat track. Reflective some would call it - depressing as fuck, I say - Chris Martin snuck back in while the sound engineer was out for a piss, methinks. Katy's gone way down in my estimations, despite her capable vocals and promising start to the album. I really would avoid this song to be honest, I don't feel it adds anything to the album.

"Pick your favourite shade of black
You'd best prepare a speech
say something funny
say something sweet
but don't say that you loved me"

12. FINGERPRINTS (03:44)

And here we are, in an attempt to end the album on the high - standard 'just keep on goin', kid' riffs and 'screw this life, I'm going to be special and different and remembered' lyrics. Woop de doo. Will absolutely appeal to the younger crowd and work well during a live performance, but at this point I'm just a bit too let down with the album overall to feel at all lifted or moved or rebellious. The Who have no need to worry, there is no way in hell this will come close to replacing 'My Generation'.

"Voted most likely to end up on the back of a milk box drink
looks like I'm letting 'em down
'Cause seven seventy-five isn't worth
an hour of my hard work and time
When you can't afford half the shit they advertise"

+ THE CONCLUSION +

I'm actually quite gutted I didn't love this album as it seemed to have all the right ingredients... pretty brunette with a penchant for super-skimpy dresses or shorts... can play guitar... kissed a girl... No wait. She admitted in an interview she's never kissed a girl. Ohhhh such filthy filthy LIES! Shattered are all perverted fantasies!

Sorry. On a more serious note... I really would not bother with this. As I said, there are handful of crowd-pleasers for sure but there are too many weak links on this album for me to justify recommending it. Sure, some younger ones might enjoy it (no offense is intended, younger readers! If you read this despite the odd sweary then you're not allowed to get all indignant now!) but I'd only bother with 'I Kissed A Girl' and 'Hot N Cold' out of the entire album. Which, out of twelve tracks, is pretty bloody dire.

Regardless, I'm giving it 2 stars because I'm generous and think a couple of the tracks might grow on me.

'One Of The Boys' is released in the UK on September 15th, but can be obtained from various U.S. sources if you're at all interested. Or check on YouTube.

www.katyperry.com - Official Site

www.myspace.com/katyperry - Official Myspace

© bandcamp 2008 - onwards. Plagiarists can piss right off. And Katy Perry, I'm in a huff with you!