Stranger, The [ECD] [Remastered] - Billy Joel

If you read the music press these days, you would be forgiven for believing that tofu-eating popsters Coldplay invented the piano. They did not: the piano has been around since olden times, and was actually invented by Jesus, probably. Or someone called John Piano. But I digress - the piano was a common tool of the trade for many of the wealth of singer-songwriters who cropped up in the seventies, of which Billy Joel was one.
Famous mainly ...
...himself in the unfortunate position of being thought a bit crap by a good many people. But those people are just silly, and I'm going to tell you why.

A BIT ABOUT BILLY
The son of classically trained musicians, Billy had piano lessons forced upon him from the age of 4. He may not have liked this at the time, but when he grew up to be a short, ugly man with rubbish frizzy hair, he realised that his ability to play "Chopsticks" ... more

If you read the music press these days, you would be forgiven for believing that tofu-eating popsters Coldplay invented the piano. They did not: the piano has been around since olden times, and was actually invented by Jesus, probably. Or someone called John Piano. But I digress - the piano was a common tool of the trade for many of the wealth of singer-songwriters who cropped up in the seventies, of which Billy Joel was one.
Famous mainly for 1983's wedding disco favourite Uptown Girl, Billy finds himself in the unfortunate position of being thought a bit crap by a good many people. But those people are just silly, and I'm going to tell you why.

A BIT ABOUT BILLY
The son of classically trained musicians, Billy had piano lessons forced upon him from the age of 4. He may not have liked this at the time, but when he grew up to be a short, ugly man with rubbish frizzy hair, he realised that his ability to play "Chopsticks" really quickly may represent his best chance of pulling fit birds like supermodel Christie Brinkley (his wife of 13 years and the woman in the Uptown Girl video). Rarely achieving critical acclaim, Billy nonetheless built up a huge fanbase over the years with his piano-driven rock/pop. A storyteller at heart, many of Billy's songs are narrative accounts of his own life, or those of the people around him. He has also written a bunch of love songs that it's okay for men to like, because if they sing them to their wife at karaoke, they might just get sex that night.

THE ALBUM
Like I said, there's a whole lot of piano here, so unless I say otherwise, just assume that ivories are being tinkled at any given point. There are only nine songs on the album, which may seem like a rip-off, but a) this was a pretty common in the seventies and b) you can probably get this album for a fiver or less if you shop around, so don't cry about it. Anyway, the songs are thus:

MOVIN' OUT (ANTHONY'S SONG)
A tale of boredom with small-town life. Anthony works in the local grocery store just so he can save enough money to leave, which, ultimately, he does. On motorbike. Which he revs up at the end of the song like he's Meatloaf or something. But he has to go, because he doesn't want to end up like the decrepit old local bobby Sergeant O'Leary, who has to supplement his measly income with a bar job so he can afford a nice car. "And he's trading in his Chevy for a Cadillac…and if he can't drive with a broken back, at least he can polish the fenders" is a great line and just one reason why I bloody love this song even more than I love quid shops. And I really love quid shops a great deal.

THE STRANGER
The title track is a dark and weird one, which starts with some eerie whistling followed by some quite atypical heavy guitar and a load of words about people having hidden sides to their personalities. Apparently we all have faces that we don't show anyone else, and of these faces Billy suggests: "Some are satin, some are steel, some are silk and some are leather". Clever metaphor or bondage anthem? You decide.

JUST THE WAY YOU ARE
Unless you have been locked inside a box for your whole life as part of some cruel psychology experiment, you will have heard this most famous of love songs. The distinctive electric organ intro paves the way for a musical reassurance to Billy's woman that she needn't change anything about herself because he happy with her just the way she is. One cannot help but wonder how this song would have turned out if his wife was a bit ugly. "I love you…but you have put on a few pounds lately…" may not have gone down quite as well laydeez of the world. So it's lucky that Mrs Joel was as lovely as the sax solo that bisects this song, and even lovelier than Robbo 2000's karaoke version, the last performance of which received at least three claps from the people gathered in the pub (only two of whom were Robbo's friends). The lyrics may seem saccharine or clichéd, but bear in mind that this was thirty years ago, when clichés probably hadn't been invented yet.

SCENES FROM AN ITALIAN RESTAURANT
Chronicles the lives of a bunch of American High school kids, through doing cool teenage shit like going to the prom and getting pissed to rubbish things like getting divorced and arguing about who gets to keep the carpet. Starts off with Billy and the piano, goes a bit rock 'n' roll in the middle with wild sax solos and ends up back where it started with Billy promising "I'll meet you any time you want, in our Italian restaurant". This strikes me as a little too open-ended an inviation which doesn't account for the opening hours of said Italian restaurant, but this is a great song anyway, and BJ fans seem to love it when he does it in concert.

VIENNA
Not to be confused with the Ultravox song of the same name, this is one of Billy's finest moments. The lyrics are particularly great: reflecting on the relaxed pace of life in the Austrian capital, the song's narrator muses: "You know that when the truth is told, that you can get what you want, or you can just get old". Complete with accordion solo, this song would not sound out of place being sung in a little French café, like the one that Rene owned in 'Allo 'Allo. But then that English policeman who spoke bad French would probably burst in halfway through the song to announce that he was "just pissing by the door" and the whole song would be ruined. The bastard.

ONLY THE GOOD DIE YOUNG
Billy tries to seduce his girlfriend via the medium of rock 'n' roll. She's a sweet and virginal catholic girl, you see, and is pretty reluctant to put out. Presumably he has already tried to get her pissed on White Lightning and this has failed, so he turns to the power of song and reasons, quite brilliantly, "sooner or later, it comes down to fate: I might as well be the one." Great song, but you never do find out if he was successful in deflowering her or whether she just kicked him in the nads and went to confession.

SHE'S ALWAYS A WOMAN
Beautifully simple piano and acoustic guitar throughout, this, possibly the most underrated ballad of all time, features Billy's voice at its sweetest, paying tribute to a woman who frankly, sounds a bit of a nightmare: "She will promise you more than the Garden of Eden, then she'll carelessly cut you and laugh while you're bleedin'". What a cow! Still, Billy seems to like her, and this song is the dog's bollocks. But in a romantic way.

GET IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME
Cheesy up-tempo pop about the importance of making a good first impression. Given the initial poor response to his first three albums, it's a shame that Billy couldn't go back in time to the beginning of his career, play this song to himself, and heed its advice. Oh well, this song's okay, but nothing compared to what came before it.

EVERYBODY HAS A DREAM
…is as corny as it sounds. If you don't mind that then you may love this song, with its overblown chorus and sometimes cringewothy lyrics. I mean, I still like this song; I just know that I probably shouldn't. But then, I shouldn't have sexual urges towards Channel Four's "Supernanny"…

THE ENHANCED CD EXTRAS
Four videos of songs performed live in concert (Stranger, Scenes, JTWYA and Good Die Young) which play on QuickTime (which you can install in seconds), a link to Billy's official website, and a discography with photos of his back catalogue. This issue of the CD is also remastered (24 bit digital, if that means anything to you) and you get all the original artwork and lyrics. Billy is at his best playing live, and the concert versions of The Stranger and Only the Good Die Young are, I think, even better than the ones on the album.

IN SUMMATION
While this isn't my favourite Billy Joel album, it is still widely regarded as amongst his finest work, so it is as good a place as any to begin your education. Much as Les Dennis's career shouldn't be judged solely on his impression of Mavis off of Coronation Street, so Billy's shouldn't be judged for Uptown Girl (which, fact fans, was a tribute to the sound of Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons). So if you haven't already, go out and buy this album, stick it on your CD player and enjoy. I'd be doing the same right now, but Supernnanny's just starting, so I really have to go. I'll remember to draw the curtains this time, too.

Robbo out.
 

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