Musical comedy albums. They bring a shudder to the spine of the most Odin-like of warrior men, and the most hardy of tolerant women mutter and scowl. Such “gems” come to mind as the ill-advised Tony Ferrino project from Steve Coogan, the dire blurtings of Weird Al Yankovic (anything he did after 1990 anyway) and of course, Creed. Comedy and rock only work if both are done well. So can you rely on the master of the shouty/not shouty comedy schtick, Jack Black and the guitar maestro Kyle “who the f**k is Kyle” Glass to meet your comrock needs? How should I know?

The problem with TD is that they are ALL OVER MTV2 and Kerrang! TV, which means that I’ve become way too accustomed to three songs from this selection. Okay, big deal right? There are 21 tracks after all. But WHOA PEDRO – 7 of these are comedy skits, busting the musical quotient right down to 14 before we deduct the singles – WHAM! Down to 11 tracks of freshness, with a total of 26 minutes or so between ‘em. Roughly 2 and a half minutes each. Feh. Well, like Franz Kafka once said, ‘no-one gives a flying f**k about statistics, does the f**king music rock or what?’ Okay, I’m paraphrasing here but you get the jist.

***PRICEY PRICEY***
Shop around for the D, folks. I rushed out and got my copy from HMV for an average £13.99 but independent record stores carry it for around £10 (check out some of the Chain Without A Name places in the UK). I’ve not spotted any copies in 2nd hand stores, which must mean people are clinging onto these babies like ants to a honeyed yak. I’m sure CD WOW will have this for around £8 or something, so don’t do like I done gone did and try a high street store. Go exploring for a decent price, unless you are feeling as flush as I did when I laid down my hard earneds.

***BACK (and front) IN BLACK***

Sleeve art is unremarkable – a devilish figure presides over the wacky protagonists, who are naked save for guitars on the front sleeve. The rear carries a similar picture but with the D transformed into tiny babies. Inside the booklet is a woeful lack of lyrics, yer basic thanks list and a snap of the fellers running in the woods wearing big pants. Yawn. I guess the music must speak for itself…

***THE MUSIC SPEAKS FOR ITSELF***

Hi! I’m the music on the debut album from Tenacious D! I’ll be guiding you through what to expect from this wacky collection of crud, which in my opinion was ruined by two clods screeching all over me. But what do I know? I’m merely a narrative device!

TRACK 1 – Kielbasa

Starts off well enough with me providing some guitar as Jack Black berates Kyle for producing me, until he finally makes the guitar produce a note Jack likes, and away we go into this first track. An ode to a woman with nice butt cheeks and Jack mentioning his “kielbasa sausage” quite a lot. Contains adult references and situations. And talk of “diuretics”. Um. I’m impressive all the way through, with stop-starty bits and a nice groove if I may be so immodest. Even some Eastern guitar work! The lyrics aren’t hilarious, but a good introduction to the odd humour that perforates the CD like a porcupine on a waterbed.

TRACK 2 – One Note Song

No real music to speak of here, so let him shut up whilst I tell you about this first comedy skit. It’s Jack’s idea of a great song in which he and Kyle play the same note and “bend it once in a while”. Will Kyle like the idea? Or will Jack rule the day? Buy the CD for the answer. All I’ll tell you is its funny the first time and less so with each listen.

TRACK 3 – Tribute

Or, The One Everyone Knows. The One With Dave Grohl As The Demon In The Video. The One That I Am Sick Of Despite It Being A Musically Accomplished Number. The One That Is A Tribute To “The Greatest Song In The World” That The Band Have Comedically Forgotten. It Rocks, But The Joke Has Long Since Passed Over To Valhalla. As Has My Over-Use Of Capitals.

TRACK 4 – Wonderboy

Or. The Other One...ah, you get the picture. An “epic” in the same vein as 80’s hair-band metal songs talking of mighty beasts and conquering things like libidos and wenches. This takes a different tack and introduces the band to the listener (great idea…4th track in…) via a story of Wonderboy (Jack) and Nasty Man (Kyle) as a pair of heroes on some nondescript quest. The video carries on this joke very well, and whilst this is another oft-played on MTV track, I still love it like Stephen King loves making inanimate objects into the basis for novels. String arrangements, Spanish style guitar, and some great vocals from Jack.

It should be noted that for a comedy rock album, the standard of musicianship is really quite good, with a little help from some rock stalwarts like Dave Grohl and The Dust Brothers, natch.

TRACK 5 – Hard F**king

Skit #2, with the boys having a relaxed conversation about the merits of hard f**king. A perfect and amusing precursor to…

TRACK 6 – F**k Her Gently

The most offensive love song ever? Nope, it just has swears in it, takes more than that to make me angry! Though you might find this one-note joke a little much, with Jack warbling his amorous attentions in graphic detail. F-count – 8. See? That isn’t so bad now is it? It’s short and to the point, much like a hard f**k actually. And it features the great line – “Sometimes you’ve got to make some love, and f**king give her some smoochies too…” Made all the better by the Spumco (of Ren & Stimpy fame) video (not on the CD sadly, but available on the website), which only goes to make the whole thing even MORE offensive. Go!

TRACK 7 – Explosivo

Strong contender for most rockin’ track of the CD, beginning with a gentle strum of guitars and ending in a cataclysmic wall of sound, this is a great ‘stream of consciousness’ song, with Jack blurting stuff about his steed, forgetting the name of his girlfriend and smoking weed. A fast, heavy number – same it’s one-third of the way through the running, as it shows off the better musical side of the outfit to a more effective degree than the comedy stylings of Tribute or Kielbasa. Ah well.

The music hasn’t spoken for itself for a while, you say? Yeah, I let it out so it could take a whiz and play in the garden for a spell.

TRACK 8 – Dio

The guys pay homage to rock leg-end Dio with a little story about his musical accomplishments, and how the D are here to take over his position as kings of rock. A good sign that they don’t take themselves too seriously then, but also a pretty rocking number. Provides a good backup to the strong track before it, and very re-listenable.

TRACK 9 – Inward Singing

The most painfully embarrassing and second most funny skit on the CD. Jack has invented the titular technique that “makes non-stop rocking possible”. It sounds awful and he KEEPS DOING IT to demonstrate his powers to Kyle, who is not impressed. Jack’s reaction to this is priceless, yet worth skipping past in order to get to Track 11.

TRACK 10 – Kyle Quit The Band

Ah. Hum. Eek. And other non-committal phrases. A song that is more filler material than the sponge padding used to turn five teams of Olympic synchronised swim team ladies into look-a-likes of Anna Nicole Smith. Apart from the great line “Couldn’t split up Tango and Cash” this has very little going for it. Musically not weak, but as a concept it should have stayed on the drawing board.

TRACK 11 – The Road

Now we’re talking! An ode to the road (see what I did there?), it’s got a great groove, some nasty lyrics about Jack “snacking on a nasty bouche(sp)”, piano riffery and plenty of swears. This is what the D are all about, and if the CD had more tracks like this it’d be a 5 out of 5, no Q’s A’d. Oh, and there’s the cool slow-down second half with mighty 80’s style guitar work. One of my favourites.

TRACK 12 – Cock Pushups

They do exactly what they say. Nothing to do with chicken. This skit will reveal the hidden mystery of the cock pushup to all who dare to listen. Oh, and of course – you can only do one. I’ll say no more unless I spoil this for you…

TRACK 13 – Lee

Another filler track about – SHOCK HORROR PROLAPSE – the D’s friend Lee. If your idea of fun is listening to a man shout the word “Lee” constantly, this is the musical Mecca you have been seeking. Anyone else – this is crap.

TRACK 14 – Friendship Test

Pretty good skit about Jack testing the relationship between him and Kyle through three simple words. And a nice link to…

TRACK 15 – Friendship

Another very strong track. Musically very cool, with a mid-tempo groove and a hummable melody that is catchier than rabies in a fox colony. Also a strange lyrical arrangement featuring record deals, fights with wild animals and own-trumpet blowing. Plus some welcome self-depreciation. Sags a little towards the end…but enough about my penis.

TRACK 16 – Karate Schnitzel

Jack’s hungry. His schnitzel is missing. Kyle knows its whereabouts. Hence Jack unleashes a can of whupass, karate style. Kind of funny in a throwaway fashion. Like many a skit, it leads us to the next song. Clever? Nope. Convenient? Maybe.

TRACK 17 – Karate

A short ditty, in which Jack tells all about his karate skills. Funnier live. Here, it’s a minute minute and 5 seconds long piece of filler. Snooze.

TRACK 18 – Rock Your Socks

And just when I was losing hope, along comes this song and reaffirms my faith in the rockin’ qualities of the D. Would have been better as a statement of intent at the start of the record, as Jack informs us that “the main thing that we do is to rock your socks off”. Great musical arrangement with an urgent bassline, powerful drums and great guitar licks – including Kyle’s rather laid-back guitar solo, which is both funny and desperately cool. If it wasn’t for Track 20 this would be my bestest song on the whole CD.

TRACK 19 – Drive-Thru

Ahh…say goodbye to the skits everybody ‘cause this is the last one. And the best. Kyle and Jack visit the drive thru, where Jack makes a complete hash of the order and abuses the order jockey in a very funny way. Kyle has less to do (being the straight man of the outfit) but is integral to the best laugh of the bit. And it even has fake car noises by the lads! Superb.

TRACK 20 – Double Team

My bestest song on the whole CD. Beginning with a gentle guitar riff and Jack telling a tale of the aftermath of a “hard day’s rocking”, it goes on to describe a conversation with a lady as Mr Black tries to get a “double team” organised with her, Kyle and himself. It’s funny. It’s ridiculous. It’s silly. And it rocks the pants off the other tracks with huge heavy guitars and “a cool 70’s groove – A funky groove to f**k to” and Jack puts it. If the D release another CD ever, this needs to be the theme they continue - it really is the highlight of the CD for me.

TRACK 21 – City Hall

Remember when I said the skits were done? I lied – sort of. This is both sit and song, skit set to song, an epic piece of p*ss-taking. It does a great job of sending up the rock song that tries to be preachy about politics, and takes the whole idea in a genius direction, certainly making for the funniest song on the CD. Musically just as strong as all that preceded it, and some fine comedy voices from Jack along with nice comedy timing too. Maybe a little over-long, but an amusing end to a rather patchy CD. And of course, a little more silliness follows this epic song, with the D talking about god – and Jack’s special new song, right at the end of the CD.

***ALL IN ALL IS ALL WE ARE***

A victim of its own hype. Very good in places, distinctly average in others. That’s all I have to say about that! Except…

Recommended For:

· Ben Stiller fans
· The f**kers who keep voting for the D on Kerrang TV
· Anyone who ever through Jack Black was funny in movies, not counting that sh*t Rasta he did in I Still Know What You Did Last Summer
· Anyone who though Jack Black singing at the end of High Fidelity was cool

Un-Recommended For:

· People who hate pointless swears
· People who think Jack Black was sh*t in everything, especially The Never Ending Story Part 3 when he was the leader of the Nasties
· People who think CDs are the evil hoof-print of the devil and would rather sh*t cobras than let lasers read digitally imprinted media from a small disc and will be sticking with their 8-tracks thank you very much
· My aunt Peg

Thanx for reading!

© P$ 2002

www.tenacious-d.com